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RANDTS will last a thousand years.

- Albert

Have You Ever...

...felt like I am feeling now?

As many of us are studying in university and are already past the seemingly distant hurdle of SPM, we face many new obstacles and new challenges as we experience a new environment. With new environments come new problems. Adjustments, making new friends, getting the grades, getting our study gears started after SPM, etc. All these issues would be the standard set of problems faced by nearly every university student.

The latter two problems in the set above cause me a lot of problems. Still, I am very much a laid-back person, so burdens like this can be lightened with a little "chilling out" once in a while. I can say safely that there are not many types of problems that can get my head spinning. For the very reason I stated earlier, I seem to never have any problems. This has been rather irritating to some people who get stressed out easily and those who are pessimistic. They don't seem to be able to find me looking all stressed out ever.

All this has resulted in people having misconceptions about me, thinking they know me without even really understanding what makes me tick. Perhaps I have been a victim of stereotyping.

I told you all about how I never seemed to be stressed. But there is only one thing in this world that can give me stress, and I don't mean stress on a normal and mild scale. It's like, either I don't get stressed, or I just feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. That particular issue, coupled together with the shocking revelation of the degree of which it has affected the people around me, just totally weighed me down. To the extent that I even feel my back weighing a tonne as I write this post (I mean that literarily).

I have no idea what is going on with me these days. I am losing my once monstrous appetite, feeling moody these days, even to the point of feeling study tension. Let's just say I've got the blues, and it is affecting my concentration power. Speaking of which, I find myself spacing out every now and then looking out for aliens that may abduct me.

Actually I love doing that "one thing". It brings me much joy and it gives me an avenue to get away from all the mountain of assignments and tests that have been growing by the day. But at times, I just feel like that thing is affecting many in a negative way. I look at their reactions around me and I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I have nearly lost things dear to me too in the process, even though there were some things I just had to give up for the sake of moving onward. But that is not the main issue. Lately I feel that the joy I so often seek has been discounted. I get frustrated easily when things don't go right and it makes me feel like I may have made the wrong choice. In a way I feel like I may have limited myself into a confined space, a corner which I was getting so cosy in. A part of me wants to break free, a part of me longs to move on with whatever comes.

Have you ever felt that way? I feel I am making a wrong move with every step I take. Anyone have any advice?

Mood: Paradoxical
Pulse Rate: Wait a minute, I hear and feel nothing...
Next Action: Get some sleep

6 mad rant(s):

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  1. gungrave1988 said...

    *I feel you man...Don't happy...go with the Jamaican flow,man...haha...*

    I wish i could say that to you but I'm not a Jamaican or a lay back kind of guy.

    My advice is don't think bout it too much. Give yourself sometime to take it all in & sort things out. That's what I do & it always works...{well...most of the times....}  

  2. thwen said...

    I don't want to sound rude, but what's the 'one thing'?

    *sighs* Everything changes constantly, and we must somehow adapt constantly... It helps to walk alone or go for swim, you know. You de-stress yourself, that way. If you're so stressed up, you wouldn't be able to concentrate. And when you can't, you're going to feel more stressed up. So, de-stress and relax.

    Hope you'll feel better...  

  3. Comrade Cripple said...

    Life is full of challenges, just take them on. After all that's all you can do. Take it from me, always be an optimist and life will seem easier.  

  4. joe said...

    yea man... i feel ya man... tnx 4 d advise.

    yea, i de-stress my goin 2 d gym sometimes. hehe. regarding tt "one thing", it's sort of lyk something 1 must infer from the limited info given. lol. tnx a lot.

    dis may b d umpteenth time i said dis, but i reali respect u man. i was a self-proclaimed optimist, but i guess there r issues i ought 2 deal with b4 i can say tt again. hehe  

  5. Henry Yew said...

    [thwen]: If he had wanted to tell you the 'one thing', he would have stated about it at the first place, right? You'll have to keep guessing about it!

    And yeah, he goes to gym to de-stress himself, with me... I go there to do the same, too, but for a rather different reason (although it's still related to stress)

    [joe]: It's been a hard time for you, I know. Just wanna let you know that whenever you don't feel OK, I'm always here to listen and share. I can't bear seeing friends going down, can I?

    About that 'one thing', yes, it affects many, even me, but as we get used to it, it should all fall to place well.

    Oh well... I quote you: "Perhaps."  

  6. thwen said...

    Going to the gym? That's quite uncommon (in my perspective). So is it good to feel down most of the time? I guess not, but hey, you get toned in the end...  


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