Sometimes I wish that I have 32 hours in a day. Sometimes I wish that 24 hours pass as if it is just 12. Sometimes I feel that I have so much time that I need to feel it up with other activities. Sometimes I feel so foolish to have sign up for other activities.
... I look into the future. Still bleak... I look into the past. I miss those days but I would like to try something new.
The truth is that we can never be sure about our time. No matter how well you organise your time to the point that you follow your timetable by the hour, there will be unforeseen circumstances that will force you to be unusually occupied or unusually free. Paradoxical and contradictory? Go figure!
Lately, a lot of assignments keep pouring in together with tests and quizzes. And not long after this we'll be having our final exams! Plus (foolish that I was, I guess) I registered to be a facilitator of the EduCamp to induct the students who applied for the Petronas Sponsorship to undergo their interview sessions. Now, a five or six-hour sleep per day is like a luxury to me.
Gone are the days when I can have lunch or dinner together with my friends. Now, I often eat alone, walk alone, do things alone, perhaps even sleep alone. *laughs* There is simply not much time for me to get in touch with friends now.
I am so exhausted that I fell asleep while facilitating the students during the Document Management session. Of course, I stayed outside and bent my body down so nobody thought I was sleeping. Then, I went for Statics of Rigid Bodies tutorial. I read a page on the topic of "Method of Sections" and before I could finish reading two paragraphs, poof! I fell asleep again. The tutors were very understandable and it wasn't until one of the tutors approached my table did I begin to wake up. I felt extremely sleepy but I had to try to fight off the drowsiness. For ten whole minutes I felt blur and uninterested in anything at all.
Tonight, I don't care anymore! It's seven hours of sleep for me, man!
But my exhaustion was also due to some issues that have been burdening my heart. Not that I can't let go of the burden, but I've been entrusted with that particular burden so I can't just release it. As I'm typing in the Information Resource Centre now, there is a nostalgic feel in me, as if I'm longing for those days when things seemed much simpler, more enjoyable, less wearisome and more company. I'm referring to my Foundation year actually.
Not that I'm not enjoying my Undergraduate year, but it hasn't been such a memorable one for me considering the fact that I have piles of assignments and a project to complete.
This is truly the life of a university student. I'm in no position to complain actually, but what can I do?
Sometimes I just let my mind wander off a while (not too long) and I look into the future. Still bleak. Oh well, don't bother about it then! I look into the past. I miss those days but I would like to try something new.
Now all I can do is to just sit back in the Information Resource Centre (aka the library), listen to a very relaxing Classical piece (Cavatina) and enjoy the soothing environment for a moment before I toil over my Differential Equations. The test is tomorrow!