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- Albert

At polar poles

As someone who has contemplated suicide countless times, I'd like to share my 2 cents on this issue. Imho, people who kill themselves for minor matters (getting dumped, etc.) are somewhat unreasonable. I wouldn't condemn them so quickly though.

It's all a matter of perspective. What you consider trivial might mean the world to me, and vice versa.

The worst part a suicidal person experiences is being unable to make those around him understand.

Imagine losing or not being to achieve that something that meant to you so much. Even though you've tried so hard, so often, putting everything to it but to no avail. Or getting stuck in a situation that beyond fixing. Others may see you as an individual who's got something going for yourself, but really, when you're in that kind of situation, nothing else matters.

Most suicidal people don't wake up, feel horrible and suddenly decide,"Hey, life isn't as pretty as I thought it'd be, so I'll just kill myself." It takes a slow spiral down till you hit the abyss. Everything suffocates. During my Dark Ages (2005), I felt as though there were invisible walls that kept closing in on me all the time. Waking up in the middle night, experiencing panic attacks alone. It gets so bad that you see suicide options wherever you go. Like walking by the road and thinking,"I could jump right in front of that fast Proton." Or,"Look, there's a kitchen knife..."

The worst part a suicidal person experiences is being unable to make those around him understand. Some dismiss suicidals as weak-minded, but it takes a lot of guts to decide to end your life and actually do it (this doesn't mean I condone suicide). They are considered paranoid. Yet in that very depressed state of mind, everything seems dire. The suicidal descends even more, unable to communicate his fears to his worried family and friends; the friends cannot understand why the suicide case cannot see another angle to his predicament and avoid discussing it with him. It's a vicious circle.

Still, I'd say that the best way is to hang on. Somehow, the so-very-big problem will, with time, lessen. Maybe, just maybe, there might even be a solution. I can confidently say so because I did the same, and I've never regretted it.

3 mad rant(s):

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  1. TOTallyTOT said...

    Hey, sorry if my entry offended you. =)  

  2. Comrade Cripple said...

    Kudos yiwei. You trumped suicidal thoughts and emerged stronger.

    To all you out there contemplating suicide please defeat your thoughts!

    ~multum in parvo~  

  3. yiwei said...

    [tot]: not offended at all, ct! ;D read e 1st line - "share my 2 cents" only.

    [comrade]: thanx! yup, i echo all suicidal people, there's still hope.  


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