Not mine, of course. I've always wondered about this guy thing among my male friends. When a girl is single, they're very chummy. They confide their secrets, ask you to join their outings and sms frequently. All this, however, is done in a purely platonic manner. When she gets a boyfriend (especially if it's someone they know), things change. They talk to you less, etc. because you're TAKEN. Kinda like respecting another dude's territory.
Lately, I'm beginning to understand that 'thing'. A close friend started dating someone I know faintly. It's unnoticeable but my friend and I are slightly not as close as before. The jokes and laughter are still there, but the deeper understanding feels like it's being compromised.
She's from a totally different circle of friends. She's a pretty decent person. I'm happy that he's happy. Downside, she and I really don't have much in common or anything to talk about. Furthermore, I'm not one for small talk...and when I do that, it feels construed at times. So it's weird that now what we do in a big group includes her. That I have to sort of get to know her because she's the girlfriend.
I guess that's what comes as part and parcel of being friends. When you're young, you get to know their boyfriends/girlfriends. Once you hit adulthood, you have lunch with your friends and their partners. Not to mention, be the best man or the bridesmaid. To smile at the quiet but excited way he tells you about her because it's so unlike him. And to comfort when the ghost of the past girl resurfaces.
Adapting takes time, I suppose...
3 mad rant(s):
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I understand how it feels. I experienced it too. It normal to spend less time with another friend now that he/she has a partner. It's to prevent misunderstanding...What do the rest think? Any opinion?
You can sacrifice time for your friends in order spend more time with your special someone. But if you morph into someone different because of love that you need a reality check. Are you utterly obsessed with your lover? Is your girl/boy a control freak? If your answer any of the questions is yes you dump your "love".
Forsaking yourself just for one person is not worth it. Girls must also watch out for controlling boys. These guys are chauvinists and will wreak your life if you marry them. Break of from the relationship if you have such a guy! Everyone must watch out for green eyed monster if not soon your social life will turn homosexual (or you will turn homo..just joking)
~multum in parvo~
[gungrave1988]
I don't think it is to avoid misunderstanding. The reason why anyone who is involved in a relationship would spend lesser time with their other friends is because of the new commitments he/she has. Therefore it is more to see the relationship grow.