Degree or No Degree, It Don't Make a Difference
2 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: Unknown at 5:20:00 PMNo, I am not discouraging you from furthering your studies to the highest level possible. I still harbour hopes of studying in the USA, thank you very much. A degree is not was it was in our parents' day - a privilege, limited to the elites who could afford to send their children to prestigious institutions of higher education in Britain, etc. Now, it is considered a must in order to even be considered for a job. No degree, no potential rice bowl. Possess a degree, and doors that were previously closed are opened to you.
However, this order does not seem to apply in the teaching profession in Malaysia. Read these: "Sacrifice of teachers that hasn't paid off" and "Upgraded in qualifications but losing out". These letters appeared in The Star 2 weeks ago, both voicing out the injustice faced, of which I'll explain of later.
Their case, as is with perhaps 50,000 other teachers, is as such: they were non-graduate teachers in the 1970's, just armed with their cert from the training colleges. They believed that in upgrading themselves by doing their degrees, they could do a better job with their newly-acquired skills, plus have better shots at higher salaries and promotions. Pretty much like the corporate world. However, to their dismay, when the pay revision was done by our Education Ministry, their salary was lower than of non-graduate teachers. Imagine!
Why I write this is because it is an issue close to my heart, involving my father, a teacher of 29 years already. My father joined the teaching profession in 1979 as a C2 teacher. He passed his STPM in 1986 and was subsequently placed in the C1 category two years later. In 1993, he attended a one-year specialist course for secondary school TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) teachers. He was awarded his first "Anugerah Perkidmatan Cemerlang" in 1994.
In 1995, he received half-pay leave to study for his 1st degree in Universiti Sain Malaysia. Life was hard then. My brother was barely a year old (he was born in late 1994), my mum was frail after the delivery yet had to care for us - I was barely above 5 years of age, and my sister, a mere 3 years old. My father only could return from Penang on weekends. One stark memory of those years I have of that period of time was when my mum and I were down with high fever. My mother was so weak that she could not muster the strength to go to the doctor; instead my grandmother called the doctor to the house. I remember my brother crying, myself not being able to eat, and my sister being bewildered most of the time. Thank God for my very formidable grandmother, who came over and took care of us. I also remember, on a separate occasion, my parents talking about how much costs they had to cut back, financial difficulties due to his pay being halved while on study leave. Being very attached to my parents, I used to cry when he wasn't around, because there was no daddy on the weekdays to read me Cinderella for the umpteenth time at night, or make icecreams out of Play-doh for my sister and I to play house.
Despite the hardship, my father graduated in 1999. During the 4 years of his study, he was not given any pay increment. This meant that upon his graduation, he had lost out FOUR increments to his peers who had stayed on as non-graduates. Three months after his graduation, there was a pay adjustment for non-graduate teachers. He discovered that his basic pay was RM1 less that of the non-graduate DGA6 teachers (the DG thing is their pay scheme coding). His request to be emplaced in the non-graduate DGA6 scheme before the graduate DG3 was rejected. That did not deter him. Instead, he went on to receive his second "Anugerah Perkhidmatan Cemerlang" in 2002. Being a man who believed in acquiring more knowledge in order to serve his God, King and Country better, my father applied and received a full scholarship to do his Masters programme in UM. And yet, despite his initiative, perseverance and hard work, his pay is still less than of my mum, who is a non-graduate.
My mother joined the teaching profession in 1981 two years after my dad became a teacher. Like my dad, she graduated from a teachers’ training college in KL as a C2 teacher. She has been a non-graduate teacher ever since. She decided not to pursue her studies so that she could look after her children and enable my dad to pursue his career. However, all their effort and sacrifice have in fact worked against them. Even thought my mom has never received the awards my dad did, she still earns more than my dad. She is in DGA32 and my Dad is in DG41. Both got 3&4 for their PTK. How can this be? It clearly shows that the salary revisions over the years have not taken into account of teachers like my dad. Although they are upgraded in qualifications, they lost out badly terms of seniority, increment in pay and opportunities for promotions to their peers and juniors in the profession. It is downright demoralizing, de-motivating and grossly unfair.
Obviously, something is very wrong with the current system. It is extremely cowardly for the Ministry concerned to sit quietly, instead of revising the ins and outs of the enforced pay scheme. Teachers like my father have given the best years of their lives, yet they have been left out in the cold when it comes to the benefits. These are experienced teachers - a definite asset to our nation. In the light of the upcoming election, I urge those in authority to rectify this huge oversight quickly. Give them back what is theirs before you begin wondering why less and less people want to be teachers in this country.
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;;Time for an update from me now.
University life has never been this hectic this semester. Last semester while I felt like I was idling around too much and therefore must kill time with more activities this year, I find myself suddenly rained upon by assignment after assignment, and competitions after competitions (in which I am always in the committee). It is really ironic as this semester I have been really active in quite a number of activities. However, I feel much fulfilled as there isn't really a time when I would spend just idling around. Then, whenever the weekend arrives, I would really appreciate it to have a good weekend's worth of rest.
While last semester has been quite a struggle for me, this semester (or the next half of the year) has been indeed fruitful, though stressful.
Anyway, perhaps I shall tell you what I had just done not long ago. Jared and I had just completed our part of the Health, Safety and Environment project whereby we put up a public speaking presentation at the Amphitheatre of our university. The memorable part for me was that we had to speak in front of the audience without a microphone; it really felt as if I was speaking in the amphitheatre back in the ancient Greek. I actually hoped that there would not be a microphone. So, although I was quite delighted that my hope came true, I was quite certain that many were displeased.
Jared and I, as well as another three more teammates delivered on the topic of safety legislation to promote a safe and healthy workplace environment. Despite the fact that we prepared for exactly one week, it was quite a good result that we produced overall. We spoke on why and how did safety legislation come about, the roles and functions of the legislation, the benefits of having legislation, the effects of NOT having legislation, the responsibilities of parties involved in a workplace as well as the organisations that exist to promote a safe and healthy workplace environment.
Although it was not our first time making presentations to an audience, it was certainly a wonderful experience to be speaking at the amphitheatre where audience from wherever they were going seem to always take an interest in what was happening at the amphitheatre, and more often than not they would stay for a while to listen, sitting on the terraced sitting areas made of cement, stones and gravel.
Joe was there, too, but just merely taking photographs. Joe, I and another friend of mine who were part of the public speaking team actually had a class at 2.30 p.m. (but the presentation was also at 2.30 pm!). Joe was not involved in the public speaking but decided that he would stay to watch; he is actually involved in the Health, Safety and Environment Board Game project which he will present on the 24th of October. However, he stayed until 2.45 and when he realised the time he decided to forego the class himself. I had actually asked permission to go late for class. However, at about 3.00 p.m. another coursemate of mine appeared at the Amphitheatre and upon asking him why he was there, he said the class was cancelled after the students waited for twenty minutes, because the lecturer said that he suddenly had a function to attend to. At that moment, I simply shouted "YES! I NEEDN'T WORRY ABOUT MISSING SOLID MECHANICS!" Trust me, Principles of Solid Mechanics is a killer subject for Civil Engineering students.
Overall, things have happened in such a way it is unexpected. To some, it might just be co-incidental but to me I believe it must have been a blessing.
Sometimes, things happen but they are not at your favour. It is just that sometimes we have to hold on and see what happens next. When desperate time comes, you may not know that a miracle is just a step away from you.
Overall, the presentation has been smooth and wonderful. I really must thank those who have taken part in this presentation group.
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I suppose this post has been a long time coming. It's like a letter you wrote one hot dusty afternoon, only to stop at the postbox, then dump it into the trash can beside it. Somehow, no matter how long you think about what to say and how to say it, the words never come out right. But they say if flowers waited till everything was just perfect before they blossomed after the long winter, then we'd never see spring at all.
It's been a long time since we started RANDTS. A lot of things have happened since then. We've seen members come and go as well as visitors drop by and leave. We've even had controversy drop by once in awhile for the occasional cup of tea. And still we weathered it all.
By this time, you might be wondering, "What's this guy comin' back all of a sudden? It's not like he cares about the blog anyways..."
That's true. If I'd cared I'd have been posting frequently. Trying to fan the flame even as our heads were repeatedly dunked into buckets of cold water. I'd have been there in RANDTS' darkest hour trying alongside you guys to keep the passion going, keep the momentum up.
But the hard fact is I didn't, did I?
It's like waking up from a bad dream only to see the mask of a killer you thought you'd never see again. The glint of the jagged blade in the darkness, your scarlet blood upon the sheets and the knife. You clutch your belly to find your guts were ripped out while you were in the nightmare. As your life force ebbs away and you fade painfully into oblivion, the killer - mockingly, haughtily, dishearteningly - removes his mask. Then you realize all this while you've been afraid of your own reflection in the mirror. Was I the person who stabbed myself in the back, unknowingly?
What prompted me to write this post? Perhaps the amount of resentment, sadness - disappointment? - that is now plain for all to see on the blog. Even the message on the bulletin board below the ever-changing banner seems like a mockery of the shadow RANDTS has become. But no, that still wasn't what hurt me the most.
It was a friend that I know. Or knew, depending on who you asked. A close friend. A good friend. Many months ago he inspired me, and many others, with a heart-warming tale of triumph in adversity of the worst kind. He shared with us a cheerful optimism that many others in his situation would be hard-pressed to display. He reminded us of the brittle fragility of life, and how each moment we take a breath is a moment to be savored as if it was our last. He told us the tough get going when the going gets tough. He shared with us the power of faith and love and family, and how these continue to be his pillars in life, providing him with the strength to pull through a life most others wouldn't consider worth living.
I saw him as a God, a hero, a true man among men. He inspired me, as he has undoubtedly inspired many others. I was touched by his sheer willpower and spirit, and looked to him as a guiding light when the world is descending into darkness.
It was only recently that I saw my hero give up hope. Not because he was at death's doorstep. Not because he suffered the loss of a family member. But because I failed to commit to the vision that I and two others had created. He gave up because I did too.
How else do you convey emotions in an email? Electrons cannot show you shed tears or distant laughter. Electrons moving at lightspeed don't know the meaning of a smile in a group photo, or the hidden jokes associated with the size of the blade you hold. Electrons shooting around the world and back can only do so much to send a message, but it is memories that do the rest of the work.
Mea culpa.
For awhile I held hands and rubbed shoulders with some of the most vibrant and unique people in the world. For awhile we traded inane stories, sexy pictures, lengthy essays, fiery rants, perfect pictures, informative articles, and so many more things. For awhile I was proud to call myself a RANDTSter...
...and honestly? I still am.
Perhaps it is time we gave this blog a little peace and quiet while we start looking in ourselves and seriously ask what it is we really want out of RANDTS.
Now, I think I know what I want. Maybe not a 100%, but even an inkling's good enough. I seriously have no idea what kind of response I can expect to this post. Regardless, the burden is mine to bear. It was my fault, and for that I apologize. I'm sorry I left in your hour of need. I'm sorry I shirked my responsibilities as founding father of RANDTS. I'm sorry I ignored the blog for so long.
But most of all, to all of you here who've been here with RANDTS and I from the start - especially Albert and Jaspreet - I'm sorry for hurting you, and for that I seek your forgiveness .
Lastly, I have this to say: call me idealistic, but even after the coldest darkest winter, flowers still break through the frost and blossom into majestic beauty, heralding the beginning of spring. I'm here hoping winter ends soon... and that spring will come with the dawn of the new sun. I'm ready to rebuild the ruins of RANDTS and start anew. After all, that's what spring is about, isn't it - nature getting a brand new start?
Thank you one and all.
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Hi,everyone! I know I haven't been committing myself to RANDTS for quite sometime. I'm gonna contribute more starting from now. Got a test tmrw & I just thought of posting something just to get my mind off of it.
I'm sure everyone knows who is Garfield. We all seen him on the cartoon strips in the STAR news paper. We even saw Garfield in the movies, a CG version of Garfield. I downloaded a collection of Garfield comic strips that dated from 1978 to 2002. I love Garfield because of his funny jokes & how he handles his life in his own way. I love the character because we both share the same problem....We hate Monday!! Monday is where class begins! Monday is where Sunday ends! Monday means the start of a long & busy week! Here's a few pictures of Garfield expressing his hatred for Mondays' :
This are just a few of the comic strips that show how much Garfield hates Monday. Here is another treat! I think I found the real life version of Garfield. I saw this fat orange cat in a shop one day. I could have sworn it looked a little like Garfield. Here's some pictures of it. It's got the colour, it's kind of fat, it was lazy to move & always lays around.
*Me giving the cat a belly rub.
*The cat was waving it's paws back & forth...I wonder why it did that? (O_o)"?"
What do you think of Garfield's idea about Mondays? Does anyone share the same feeling like me about Monday? (^__^) If you do, please do tell.
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;;As my travels for this year came to an end, I reflected upon it and realised how much I actually long for home. For even though in many ways the pastures seem greener elsewhere, I couldn't help but eager to feel the warmth of my own bed rather than enjoying the lavishness that I enjoyed in Haikou and Guangzhou for nine days.
I figured that I couldn't sleep unless I write up this post. For some reason I am still very much energetic (although the bed seems so appealing; yes, I am home). As I write this post, for some reason my stomach fluttered and there is an empty feel in me. I was happy to be able to get things off my mind while travelling in China, and I'm equally happy to be back home. Yet, what is this melancholy that lingers at the edge of my eyes?
Never before have I felt so disconnected from my friends whom I have not been contacting.
Thankfully, it has been a rather enjoyable trip to China. This trip to Hainan Island and Guangzhou has indeed opened up my family's eyes. Various lessons have been learnt, especially when dealing with the Chinese people. Yes, although this sounds rather racist, believe me, we Malaysian Chinese are somehow far better than the Chinese in terms of ethics, humanity and many more. I will tell you more later.
As I landed at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA), memories begin to flood my mind. I began forming a list of names whom I would contact upon my arrival. And sure enough, I gave them either a "missed call" or a short message or even both the moment I stepped into the terminal. Never before have I felt so disconnected from my friends whom I have not been contacting. Before I went to China, I have been trying my best to keep in touch with all my friends, both from university and from my school, either via MSN Messenger or even Friendster. I felt a sudden need to contact them, and I felt the same upon my arriving at KLIA.
It is also for this reason, I suppose, that I am so eager to write this post. Although I have stated in the chatbox that I am back, it seemed so insufficient.
My travels in China were just a temporary leave from my worries and my dilemmas. Now that I'm back home, I feel the days drawing closer for me to address all my problems once and for all. Soon enough, there will be at least one heart that I have to break by pouring out the truth, and that one heart is actually so tender and so dear to me that I feel so reluctant to do so. Yet, I shudder in terror to think of how even more badly shattered that heart would be if I delay matters.
There have been people whom I have not stopped thinking about while I was in China: my parents, my friends back at home, my friends in university, my one friend in Suzhou (China) and... a crush of mine.
There is a mixture of various emotions running in me: relief, joy, anguish, concern and so on. As I sign off now at 0530 hours, there is this one thing I look forward to.
My day of breaking that one heart. Very heartless of me, I know, but it's for the happiness of the future.
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;;It's rather funny to be inspired when you're in deep frustration. But that was what happened to me on the 28th of May.
I thought of quitting photography- to banish my dreams and hopes, and to journey as far as possible from the grips of it, but something called inspiration struck me right at the core. Instead of flinging my camera to the wall with fury, or plainly ignoring it, I took pictures with it. And... though I didn't think much while pressing the shutter button, I'm quite glad with the outcome of the pictures (and even more so after I've post-processed them in Photoshop just for fun).
That's the core of a guava rested on the back of my law notes, which were used to cover the surface of my journal. Looking at this picture after some time, I came up with the decision that it looks scary. It seems like the poor guava core is undergoing some sort of postmortem surgery in a fruit morgue, and the colour filters I've layered on the original shot certainly didn't help to turn things brighter... Made the atmosphere more sinister, it did.
Quite sickly looking colours I've chosen, but I like the shadows on my arm and hand.
A play of light and shadows. This one reminds me of shadow monsters and their allies of things that go bump in the night...
It was so difficult to take the picture of my legs. I had to lie down on my bed, place my feet on the wall, position them next to the light source, and keep still while I press the shutter button (the shutter lag obviously didn't help). As a result, my legs look shorter and stumpier, but I got the (sort of) shot I wanted. Additionally, I've chosen green-blue filters, as this brings memories of mermaids and their tails, haha. So the green-blue filters to represent the colours of the ocean...
Before taking this shot, I switched the white balance of the camera from 'cloudy' to 'incandescent'. This picture has been rotated clockwise, and saved in Photoshop after a minor adjustment of Curves. The lamp looks like a moon here, and I have this picture displayed as the 'avatar' in Windows Live Messenger currently...
Interestingly, Joon-Wye commented that my fingers formed a heart. I didn't notice that until he told me so... =) Also, he noted that I like to take pictures of body parts, haha. But I don't think he's right.
I shot my foot. 'Nuff said.
It was certainly intriguing to know that whilst dwelling in frustration and teetering on the edge of depression due to photography, I took part in it. I wanted to pause the process of taking photographs out of inspiration, habit and fun, but I failed to surrender almost entirely. It's as if I can't escape from the field itself.
I do believe it wouldn't be easy to let go of all of this. So do I, or do I not, persevere? This question has been lingering in my mind for weeks, and I chose not to give much thought to it since too much thinking often results in a melange of headaches and heartaches. Even though negative thoughts swirled in my mind and hazed it with confusion, one thing was made astonishing clear. My greatest enemy was, and always will, be me, myself and I.
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;;I’ve always strived to be independent in making decisions involving my own life. Time and again I try my very best to give reasoning in my very own perspective of things; but, caught up in the middle of all that confusion, I always find myself being affected by people and their opinions and wants. In being individualistic, at the same time, I take importance in trying to listen to other's perspectives to make them happy. In the end, I do not know if I’m happy because I truly am or I am trying to make people happy. Is making people happy, making oneself happy?
You might have gotten yourself confused in the past sentence but I do not blame you for the confusion in your mind. It is as confusing as it sounds.
Just a few days back, I was questioned regarding decisions I made in life. I do not know the person’s perspective of questioning me in such a manner; but to me, every single action I did was questioned and I felt like I had to doubt my very own decisions to place them in comparison to the expectations of others. Friends exist to advise, no doubt. However, I think that there reaches a point that we should not impose our opinions unto others, no matter how strong our stance is; especially the matter does not involve health or money related issues like taking drugs or borrowing money from loan sharks. (That kind of imposing is understandable.)
Sometimes, people around us think that we can do better. They tell us, “This will look good for you,” or, “that looks superb on you.” Sometimes you very reluctantly say, “Yes” because you care about the opinions of others more than yours… I know at this very point, people think that I am weak in my opinion and that I am unable to assert my perspective of things. I do not think so. Fact is, I do so in so many things.
Humans cling to others, so attached and unable to accept reclusion. We want to be part of something so bad that we are willing to bend some personal rules and personal opinions though they hurt so badly. I know it is inevitable, you know so too though on the outer you may stand up for individuality and asserting personal opinions. Now what I have in question: Where is the cut of point? How will you put your foot down after so long of playing along?
Now, comes the part you say, “Stay true to yourself from the beginning.”
Then here comes the part whereby I say, “Problems evolve, they don’t just happen.”
I’m sure that everyone is questioning about the dilemma I am in. It is not a dilemma per se. I am merely disgruntled in certain aspects of thoughts and decisions and opinions of people around me. I have my limits though my threshold is very high. I am hard headed, but sometimes people should watch their words. I am very open minded, but sometimes people just don’t talk about certain stuff; and when they don’t, don’t push it. Again, I am open minded about fitting in; but sometimes I want to be me.
This might not be the best article to kick-start my writings here; but listening to perspectives on things is something I like to do. Solutions may be hung on a string just before our eyes, but the human eye is blinded by so much ignorance, oblivion and plain stress.
Lastly, here's an old poem of mine. To tell you the truth, it was written for my ex-boyfriend. I think you'll be able to figure it out. But this article has nothing to do with him lar. The poem just fits.
His parody
A parody,
One about life,
She took it, and pasted it,
to humour and laugh.
When it ended,
The audience cheered.
If they only knew the tears,
to all that was told.
The stage bright and lively,
shone in pride and glory,
to what seemed a story,
about a man who never knew,
the word happy.
Never did anyone know,
or think,
how it'd feel being him,
something that real.
- eries 21.07.05-
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...who just had someone she fancied say bye to her right after school!!!!! *BIG smile*
one thing i like about my highschool is that, there is form 6. and when there is form 6, new eye candies would come :D ... hahaa.. eye candies. what a way to describe it.
to those who dont know what eye candy means, it means, in my own way of defining it, DROPDEADGORGEOUSGUYSTHATIWILLGOGAGAON. hahahaha. okay, so go on, laugh now. you already got the funny bit. ;)
but then again, the thing i dislike about highschool is that fact that...
a) everyone would know who you like/fancy,
b) stupid uniform that makes me look fat; and
c) stupid uniform that makes me look fat.
you just cant get tired with the uniform making me look fat thing. bleh!
but then again, who cares. at least, he said bye!!!!!
jasmine is haaapppyyyy.... you should be happy for her too ;)
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;;Yay, my first rant job here! Sorry Jaspreet, its not the one you asked me to post.
Anyways, Jaspreet asked me to post my first rant job, which is basically a whole bunch of rubbish that just popped in my head out of nowhere, and apparently I posted it somewhere on the Internet, and Jas read it, and he liked it. God knows why.
Then, here I am on RANDTS, and Jas asked me to type a post regarding the advantage of Quantity over Quality of sex (specifically speaking, its the advantage of quantity of ejaculations over the length of one ejaculation, meaning how many times you can do it, instead of how long you can hold). But then I was thinking, isn't it kinda rude to jump straight into the sex train for a first post?
And again, considering the fact that I only know Albert and Jas among the 18 RANDTSters, I don't want to do something to make myself be perceived as a sex maniac as a first impression. Or maybe I already have. Oh well.
Anyhow, this is MY style of typing. I don't use flashy words. I don't use deep vocabulary like Jaspreet, so you can keep your dictionary and close that tab for Merriam Webster online. I don't like deep, philosophical crap that will blind you for the rest of the day. I go straight to the point and if I DO twist my words, don't think too much about it, it may just be because I am typing so fast I don't realize what I am talking about. Curses, preferably Chinese, are my forte, but for the sake of underaged and sensitive readers, I will censor them, and Jaspreet asked me to keep them to a bare minimum.
Ok, I have been typing 3 paragraphs full of rubbish and where the h3ll is the content?
Ok, I know, I know, so lets start.
As I was saying, I was kinda thinking about what to post as a first post. Then I saw yiwei's neglected post (it only has 1 comment... seriously... wtf???) about her relationship with this one lucky dude through SMS.
Then it got me thinking about this friend of mine who apparently got his current girlfriend, who incidentally, are both my classmates. The funny thing is, outside, you don't see them talking to each other at all. Even now. And sad to say, as a relatively close friend to the guy, suffice to say things aren't going well now that they are serious... and actually get together outside of their phone screens.
Then it also got me thinking about my OWN experience (cheh, made it sound like I so pro relationship). Long story short, suffice to say that SMS, pixels, and emoticons blinded me, and I wasted RM30 of credit on her, and a further RM106 for a confession which brought my dignity down to negative, and took more balls than the number of goals Beckham scored (no, I am talking about balls as in the thing that me and Albert has, but Jaspreet lost XD), and at the end of the day, got rejected flat in the face.
So here I am, fully understanding yiwei's situation, and surprised not many people actually bothered to address it. All I want to say is, with the advent of technology and virtual realities, our social lives have totally changed. No longer do you have to meet a person to know a person. Sometimes, a person's character is much more apparent when they are in their virtual alter egos. I, for one, actually enjoy blogging and typing rubbish in forums not only because I know no one cares if I tell them to anyone in reality that I know, but also because I can't say in words what I do want to say, without taking time and filtering/proof reading it in my head first.
To a lot of people, when you see me in reality, I am an @ssh0l3. Ask Jaspreet.
And on the Internet? Oh well, you will soon find out. Chances are, I am still an @ssh0l3.
Anyways, addressing yiwei's situation. Lets just say that, it obviously isn't easy actually communicating with the other fellow (lets just call him Hunny Bunny. Why? I don't know, maybe cause I am a retard). But suffice to say that, if you really do want to get serious with Hunny Bunny, you obviously have to get to know him in reality. Come on, don't give me that Maple girlfriend, boyfriend bullsh*t. Everyone knows it will never work out. Its just like virtual sex, fun, but pointless.
That is one barrier you have to go through, if you really want get associated with Hunny Bunny, and that is to communicate with him as how you would to your friends in real life. The other barrier you have to go through is the personality misalignment.
As I said earlier, people act differently on the phone/Internet. So you may know Hunny Bunny as a nice, intelligent, gentleman, bla bla yadda yadda, but you must also understand it may only be an image he is trying to portray himself in. OR it could also be who he really is deep inside, and in reality, he may seem like an @ssh0l3, but he may be nice and all inside. So its up to you to find out how he really is like, and that takes time AND real communication. If he acts differently/may not be as introverted/extroverted as he seems, then its up to you to be patient and see him as who he really is.
All in all, I think that its nothing to be ashamed of/scared to have a virtual based relationship. After all, its still human nature, that is to say, reproduction and continuation of the species. As to how one approaches it, that is strictly a personal method, but I think that I should give my own two cents regarding the matter.
Hey hey! Don't get me wrong, I never claimed to be a relationship expert or Casanova, but I don't want anyone else to blindly waste RM106 and time, aights?
Thats all I have to say for now. I know, I know, it bored your nuts off Jaspreet, but maybe I will post something spicier next time, k? Hey, you DID ask me to minimize the cursing, so what can I say?
Ciao all, I love everyone non-sexually/homosexually
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Singaporeans are wacky and so rocking cool! They came up with this drinks called 'Whatever'(non-carbonated) & 'Anything'(carbonated). Wah.. The advertisers also damn chio and came out with these advertisments. Haha.. Salute them!
Mummy brought back Whatever and Anything! And i went out for dinner with Julian..
Then when i'm back, my sister and i came up with this conversation.Mei: Ey.. Jie, i drank half of WHATEVER. Can't finish it.. You finish it ar?
Again.. Nothing better to do during this break, so i digged some Ethan's picture and photoeditted it.. And i kinda like it alot now...
Me: WHATEVER ar? What about ANYTHING?
Mei: Ok la.. We'll share ANYTHING together.
Me: Whatever(not the drink) la..
Mei: You finish it! I can't finish it!
Me: What?!
Mei: Anything la...
***Laughs...
Bong told me something that i think i NEED to share with you all..
Do you know AKON's full name is......
'Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam'?!
What the hell?!! Freaking long wei! I wonder his parents must have paid alot for his birthcert coz it's like a folio thick! Wahhhaa.... Anyway, he's such an entertainer!
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;;I am a huge fan of Indie Rock. For your information, Indie Rock is a genre of alternative rock that primarily exists in the independent underground music scene. "Indie rock" is shorthand for "independent rock", for many of its artists are or were unsigned or signed to independent record labels, rather than major record labels. It is not strictly a genre of music (although the term is often used to reference the sound of specific bands and the bands they have influenced), but is often used as an umbrella term covering a wide range of artists and styles, connected by some degree of allegiance to the values of underground culture, and (usually) describable as rock music. You can find more Indie bands from mypace coz you can host your own band page where you upload your music on it and people stream it at the end of the day.
I'm always listening to... bands like Dashboard Confessional, The New Amsterdams, Nada Surf, The Honorary Title and etc..
I stream Indie music from HERE weekly to know more incredible music from the underground that rocks my socks off. Most of the songs here are from One Tree Hill. And i do love songs from The O.C. I'm crazy over these 2 drama series. Haha.. That made me visit these sites to check out MORE Indie music from each and every episode.
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;;Things I have learnt over the past couple of days.
1) Paranoia is terribly dangerous.
2) Some people were put on this earth with a sole purpose which is to annoy. So the next time I meet this kind of people I'll (a) calmly turn around and walk in the other direction, or (b) pretend that he/she is totally invisible, or (c) develop a temporary hearing impairment.
3) You can't run from your troubles. The more you run, the faster they catch up. Not until you confront them will you be able to get rid of them once and for all.
4) Even the hardest and coldest of hearts can melt.
5) Everyone's a hypocrite. One way or another. Even those who admit to not being one.
6) Sometimes when you think that no one cares enough to stand by you, there will always be someone right by your side. And most of the time, it is someone totally unexpected.
7) When you stop having faith in yourself, others will too.
8) Sometimes, real friends are there, right in front of you. Only you have been blinded by other fake and pretentious ones to take notice.
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;;I remember someone posted something about dreams before. Here's another one.
I've been working until late night and some nights, I will fall asleep without realising it. Then, my alarm will be there to make the loud annoying ring to wake me up. A few days ago, I forgot to set my alarm. I don't remember dreaming with images or video clips but instead, I woke up with a shock when someone said, "You only have 5 hours to live."
Freaky? I know. For one whole day, I had a very disturbing thought of being run down by a car. For your information, there are drivers at my college who don't care who you are and will speed. It is the I-don't-care-if-you-get-hit-It's-not-my-fault-if-you-don't-see-me thing. For the whole 5 hours, I learnt a very valuable lesson and that is I take things for granted. I never truly appreciate my lecturers and their lectures, nor my friends or food and the weather. For 5 hours, I thought about my family members the most and thinking what I will do or what I will change within 5 hours and after my 5 hours is up.
We know that we are going to leave this world one day. So, why not start appreciating now right? "You won't know how to live until you are about to die"- I've heard and read it somewhere before. If I'm not mistaken, I think it is Tuesdays with Morrie.
Another dream was two days ago. I dreamt that a car was trying to run me over. I was carrying my notes, bags and running. It was at night, making it hard for me to see where I was heading to. Then, I saw a girl in front of me who asked me to follow her. I couldn't see her face but I was sure that it was a 'she' because she had long hair, and was wearing pants. While I was running, I dropt my transparent file which has all my notes in it- Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Maths. They were scattered on the tar road.
I hesitated for a while, thinking whether I should go back to get it but the vehicle approaching me would hit me if I do. I finally decided to go back and while I was collecting my notes, the girl who was in front of me grab my arm and pulled me away. I found myself running again while the car ran over my notes. Then, I woke up.
When I went back to sleeping, I had another dream! I met that girl again. Also, the same atmosphere- dark and eerie. This time, I was going to visit someone important (but I don't know who) at a house but by the time I reached that place, I saw a group of other people who was in the house. When they saw me, they came chasing after me. I don't know why, I don't know how but all I know was that I ran as soon as I saw them seeing me. (Confusing?) Around me were houses and I knew for sure that my house wasn't there. That was the time I saw the girl who I mentioned earlier. She told me to follow her. I did as told and both of us hid ourselves well from the "bad" people. When I was about to ask her who she was, she was gone. Once again, I woke up.
It was Friday the 13th (yesterday). Guess what? I lost my homemade Chemistry notes and I have a Chemistry test to sit for on Monday. Now, I have to start all over again. So much for being unlucky huh? Well, today's a Saturday the 14th and in a few hours time, I will be going for the 2nd meeting of the Frisbee League. Hopefully, the field will not be muddy this time and that I won't be like a burnt (not barbequed) chicken by 12noon. :D
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;;Here are two personal favourites from my archive of pictures, taken 2 Sundays ago, with my faithful recording device, Coolpix 3700. I think both pictures captured the the energy the dancers put in while dancing, and not to mention their enthusiasm and passion for it too. Now, I might seem to be boastful to some people, but do I look as if it bothers me if you think I am? No. (Why I'm typing this? Got a hate mail lately, and I didn't like it)
Anyway, I'm going to type some words before going off.
Personally, I enjoy watching people groove to the music, each and every move executed would be admired (provided it's in accordance to the beat), and as always, my face would go green at the end of the performance. Green because I can't even dance to save my own life!
For the record, my mom's a dancing instructor for line dancing after one year of avid practicing, and sadly, I have no aspirations to be like her (I don't want to watch my weight, and do so much practice). Even though it's wonderful to sway to the rhythm and rock to the beat, my body would never be able to do so anyhow (I have flat feet and not enough patience). And to save my face from humiliation and further embarrassment, no one would have the chance of seeing me dance!
Hence, no dancing for me. I'm happy to be standing away from stage, snapping pictures of happy people dancing away for now. Hmm... maybe I WILL take up dancing someday (like what happened to singing a few years ago) and who knows? I might end up dancing while a photographer takes pictures of me! =) *coughs*
Do you dance, by the way?
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"love happens..."
well, unfortunately, it doesnt. shit happens, i'll tell you that, but not love. for a dork like me, it doesnt happen. even if it does, i dont think it is love. its merely lust from deep inside of your lustfull selves.
what is love? the eternal question that has yet to bear any answer.
love. love. love. it sounds so pure and real, that only the purest of heart can truly feel its greatness. unfortunately for me though, i had exploited the word love. i express 'love' orally to those whom i have no such feelings of. and thus, i felt that the word LOVE meant little to me.
even if i did express it to someone i know that i will truly care about and would probably live my whole life with, but love would still be, 'just another word' nonetheless. but what do i know? im just a 17 year old who is utterly brainless about the world (yea, people who got updated with politics and all that...you scare me with all your knowledge) and absoloutely couldnt care less about other people. unless, i have something to do with them that is.
urggghh... i still cant believe even that after 3 years, i would still be thinking about 'Mr. Lawyer' (lets just call him that). its a sad truth really, considering the fact that he wouldnt think about me at all. but hopefully, he does. that'll be good. i miss having him being around me. i miss talking to him without sounding like a total dork.
i would still have this nervous feeling inside of me whenever i talk to him. even text messaging him was hard for me as i would always check my spelling and grammar countless times. i know, it sounds all weird and stuff, but its true.
i miss moments with him. i miss the old days where i would not be afraid to just say the wrong things and that, we would always have whatever reason to look at each other and smiled. i miss being in a big crowd, where the only thing i see was him and me, and that we were in our own little world. i missed having him to look at me in that oh-she's-so-pretty type of look and just smiled at me or wink at me.
i missed that feeling. i missed it soooooo much.
what i experienced with him in that one week was unbelievable. i want that magical feeling back. i guess, when i do think about it, i would say that i do miss him. but ultimately, i missed the feeling more.
the feeling of being
treasured.
cared for.
nurtured.
protected.
guided.
loved.
i want that feeling again. and i hope that, when i do get it, i would sincerely have feelings for that person... i dont want to just be with someone just because i pitied him or maybe, wanting to experiment with situations. thats just plain stupid...
but whatever it is... things have passed. and eventhough how much i want him to be in my life again, i cant. he has moved on now. although how much i think about him and think about those memories and moments together, it came to me that, i, myself, have to move on.
but i guess, thats the power of First Love...
you can never forget them. never, ever...
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Baby clothes for parents who love RPG. Start from lvl 1Hey guys. It's been a long time since I put up anything decent here. Thank you all for being more than patient with me
So yeah, if I come to think of it now, it's all back to basics again as I make an renewed attempt at taking baby steps in my blogging life. Currently I am trying to load my Gmail in order to send some important documents to my group member so that she can complete the final bits of our Geology Langkawi trip report, but the connection is too damn slow that I find myself constantly refreshing the page. I have a nasty feeling that I may need to run all the way to Village 4 (which is a 10 minute walk away from my room) just to deliver it to her. *sighs* Where is the internet connection when you need it?
Finally I am back in the mood to write, but I know not of what to write about. Often I feared that my long absence would in a way spoil the flow of the blog. Thanks to Comrade General Cripple a.k.a Berdie a.k.a Albert for the numerous dedications of posts and pictures. I particularly was fascinated with the "Stolen By A Bullet" picture. In a way I felt like my spirit to blog was taken away by an imaginary bullet of some sorts. I nearly wanted to quit, but thankfully a special someone managed to urge me not to quit (or rather threatened me =P).
So now, all I need to do is get my groove back, pick up the pieces and start anew. I know this may be a little too late but, I would like to say that finally meeting some of the RANDTSters in Albert's house was a great experience, and totally enjoyable. Thanks to Maverick, Comrade and Kwatra for keeping the blog alive in our absence. My tonnes of apologies. *grins*
*Pauses to think*
*Blinks*
*Grins again*
Alright, I know it's getting awkward at the moment. I shall not type anymore for now.
have.to.try.to.get.into.my.gmail.or.else.i'm.dead.
~'til next time~
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;;Time in: 1754 hours
Current weather: Rain
Current emotions: Cheerful, alert and ready to help
Ladies and gentlemen, although at this time, it is the perfect moment to sleep, I choose this moment to address some important issues here, personal and general issues.
To Joe, whom I treat as a brother, I wish him well and that he will be able to settle his heavy-duty life issue as soon as possible. Nevertheless, I say take your time, Joe, but keep praying, and He will help. In moments like this, Joe, have the assurance that you have at least me to back you up (not forgetting the others) when the need arises. If it troubles you too much, hold it in your heart no longer. There are ears ready to listen.
To our dear Comrade 'General' Cripple Albert, you are an inspiration to us all. Your show of great strength and faith melts many hearts, and you continue to feel very much blessed. You are indeed very blessed to have such a great family (your parents and sister) and great friends such as Jaspreet. I wish you well in your studies.
To our dear Admin Maverick aka Jared, you have been a kind listener and you make friends pretty much easily. Of course, we have had our share of good and bad times, but all in all, it has been quite a wonderful experience. Your cheerfulness never ceases to amaze me and your intelligence... bah! Need I say more? (This guy can get a GPA of 4.00 without much studying! LOL)
To my ex-classmate Timothy Wong, I do appreciate those days in Form 4 and Form 5 with you. I had only wished that I could get to know you much, much better. And whenever I'm in doubt with issues regarding spiritual life, you have constantly given me enough information to work with. Now that you are in the United States, I wish you all the best there. Let me tell you that I find Tim the most patient person I've ever met.
And to ex-classmate Khael (Fusion16), you joker. You left your hair grew in another type of hairstyle that I could not recognise you from afar! I was indeed rather lost for words as to who the person was when you called my name in the Chancellor Hall. Anyway, you're still the cool guy that you are and I encourage you to keep it up! And write more here, yeah?
Jaspreet (Kwatra), my man! Boy, you sure cracked us up a lot during Albert's party. Never knew that you were 'Stitch' to the life till you demonstrated it. You are indeed a very kind friend, and I feel blessed to know of a person like you. You don't see reaching out to people as an obligation or volunteer work, but rather I think you do it because of your heart, your sincerity, and that's what makes you such a wonderful person that you are.
To my roommate Brian (Gungrave1988), it's indeed a blessing for me that we've been able to be together as roommates for all these while without any conflicts, problems, etc. We have even been able to confide in each other and we do spend time together having fun, etc. I have always wanted to get to know you and now that the chance has come, I'm happy to have done so.
To Hui Wen (thwen or huiwen7), you're indeed talented with your camera. Seriously, I could hardly take any still images (that require flash) without the flash because they will be blurry. But now that you're facing some problems posting here and some problems taking pictures, I hope that you will be cured of your problem quickly and make a come back. We would, indeed, like to see you back in action here. I offer you my best wishes.
Ah, then there's Esther. How have you been? You seemed rather stressed before this but I suppose now you're much relaxing, huh? I haven't got the chance to really know you but it's been quite great being able to communicate with each other through Windows Live Messenger and the like. And now that you are part of the team in RANDTS, I hope the opportunity for us to get to know each other better will come.
Ah, Calvyn (Master Chief)! You're as tall as your brother (or taller?) now, aren't you? How are your studies going now? I hope no stress? You have been a very benign person that I have known and I'd like you to keep up the good work!
As for Jasmine (jasminerajah), Melanie, Siti (TOTallyTOT), Wen Li and Yi Wei, I am sorry that I could not really get to know all of you better. Much as I like to have conversations with you through Windows Live Messenger, the connection here in UTP does not allow me to do so very much. Yet, I believe that soon when we do have a RANDSTers gathering, allow me the opportunity to get to know all of you. As for now, I wish you all the best in your endeavours.
As for me, I am in need of nothing but one or two. I am taking things easy now as people have asked me to. I try not to think too much and yes, I have not thought too much so far. Why should I worry so much in the first place? I believe that even when there are tests (be it academic or spiritual ones) and challenges, I have to brace myself and put up my courafe to face them rather than escaping or running away from them. I don't think I can run away from them either. They can outrun me quite easily.
With this, I retreat for a moment.
Time out: 1839 hours
Current weather: Rain
Current emotions: Still cheerful, alert and ready to help
Current request: Need some time alone (prayer)
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;;It’s almost 5am Saturday morning, and Joe’s serenading me with his guitar. He’s playing a medley of melodies ranging from the melancholic to the mellow. He seems engrossed in being totally random about it all.» I find [music] more desirable than awkward silences or thunderous cacophonies.
I wonder what’s going through his mind as I type this. I wonder if he’s been trying to tell me something all this while. Maybe I’m just too tired - or thick - to notice. Or maybe he’s just playing coy; jual mahal, they call it in Malay. Who knows for sure? For now, at least, I’m just content to listen to him play, sitting by his side.
I wish I’d been more musically-inclined when I was young. I envy the way he strums on his guitar almost nonchalantly, digits flying across the chords. I can only imagine my own hands do the same. “I used to practice three hours a day,” Joe says, reading my draft awhile before lying back on his bed, plucking the strings and making wonderful music again.
How different would I be if I had learned to play some sort of instrument back then? Right now I can only appreciate music in the commonest, simplest sense - the most I can do is interpret the underlying themes and meanings from song lyrics. I don’t really have an ear for music: I can’t read notes, can barely tell one tune apart from another, can’t carry a tune of my own (with instruments), and can’t compose works of my own.
But I love music nonetheless. I find it more desirable than awkward silences or thunderous cacophonies, and I definitely wouldn’t enjoy life as much as I do today without some form of music or other.
Speaking of which, I’ve not heard Buddhist scriptures for a long time. I miss the soothing contemplative sounds of scripture music…
Anyway, I’ve always thought - and still do - that music is food for the soul. ‘You are what you eat’, they say; hence those who listen to music are more likely to ‘get in the mood’ of the particular song they’re listening to at the time. Christian music is upbeat and catchy, glorifying the good of the Almighty, and their immense faith in His grace. Emo music draws you into the storms of your soul and spirit.
But some of my favorites are Maksim Mrvica’s orchestral tunes: they always convey many, many emotions, from joy and sorrow, to anger and calm. Strange how his music reconciles seemingly opposite emotions then intertwines them to create deep, moving songs. His works never fail to stir me, and I listen to them every chance I get.
If music is really food for the soul - some people I know are very, very hungry indeed. They probably have never eaten for the whole of their lives. I wonder how I could reach out to these friends of mine. Music helps quite a bit, I find. Maybe they could use a little help of their own.
~verus rara avis~
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;;Life Is Just Not What It's Meant To Be....._l"""lO
4 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: gungrave1988 at 12:58:00 AMHi guys, I really haven't post anything in along time. I sort of got in the mood to post something due to the words by comrade cripple {Thanks a lot} Well guess I'll talk a little bit of my life & myself.
My name is Brian Woon Thean Boon. People usual call me Brian or sometimes Brain {Don't ask me how i got it, I'm not a genius} I'm your average 19 year old, nothing special or out of the ordinary. I'm the sort of guy a person would normally avoid talking because I usually stay quiet. I had a usual primary & secondary school life. {God, I miss those days! (T__T)} Now I'm in university, where life is a little different that my previous one. I never had a girlfriend {Not that I'm desperate or anything!!?!} or done anything that I would call against the law. {except maybe having a drink or two but I'm good}
I haven't really experience much in life like Jasmine {I'm just guess you had a lot of experience, just guessing...} or the knowledge of the world like the rest. I don't have a lot of ideas like comrade cripple {Look at the amount of post you did!!! Really salute you} or a blog of my own. I am not ashame to admit that I like to watch funny,romance & family movies.{like The Mask, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Holiday or Accepted} I hate watching horror movies. They give me nightmares & fears {ever since I watched the movie "IT" by Stephen King, I creep out when I see CLOWNS!!!} I also hate people who smoke. When ever I see someone smoke, I will walk away. I will be really pissed if I see them throwing their cigarettes without putting out the light. I would step on the cigarette until it becomes a pile of dust on the floor. {I really hate smokers so WATCH OUT!}
I always try my best to fit in with everyone but sometimes I feel lost at times. I feel like whatever I do something, it just doesn't feel right...I feel like I'm just floating around trying to find a place to land. People say you should share problems with your friends but is it that easy? I feel like if I said about my problems, people will look down on me & think that I'm strange. Most people say that my face expression doesn't show how I really feel inside. They say that my face always reflects a person who has no worries & completely relax. {Its not like I wanted to have an expression like that!!!}
But right now I realize that people around me have the same problems as I do. I can't be egoistic & think that I'm the one with all the problems. I've got to open myself to everyone although sometimes I find it difficult to do it. That's how I'm feeling now. So to those who might be feeling how I feel right now, I just want to say that your not alone & we should do our best to get through this & break free from this slump.I'll do my best to become a better person day by day even if its just a little. Looks like the rains stopped.Well I wish everyone a good night & sweet dreams.
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;;the ultimate first timer's kissing dilemma...(and it aint pretty)
1 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: Tasha Green at 3:05:00 PM
the post became a hit, though not many people commenting on it, it was a hit nonetheless. up to 100 people will click on the post every now and then and leave me messages about it.
kissing is a normal thing. not being kissed and having TONS of friends around you that has already been kissed (or kissed in that matter) or like, having them to already made out (its the same thing right?) is totally normal.
and have you to be SOOOOOO pressured up because you have never been kissed before is like soooo hard. first there’s media showing you how good kissing is, then to make it worse, your best friend had her first kiss and she brags about how good and fun it is.
thats a killer right there and then.
i had my kiss when i was 16. 16 yo! thats like… old, at least, in this modern society. hoho. people as young as 12 had their first kiss, and i had it at 16.
although it KILLS to not have my first kiss all this time, and having to see people all around me already had theirs (and their 2nd.. 3rd.. 10th…), i know i hadddd to wait and be patient and wait for someone to kiss me. (yea. lame line)
i mean, i cant just simply kiss any random guy i meet on the street right? that’ll be wrong. and i cant just simply get together with a guy and make out with him… well, you can, but that would just be a one night stand kind of thing, and thats not fun.
but yea.. i mean, kissing could be fun, could look oh so nice and can seem really yummy… but i mean, take your time. dont rush. dont worry about it. its not like you’re NOT gonna get it, like ever. that would just be weird.
you will get it. and when you do, believe me, you’ll be really worried. all first kissers are like that, they get worried and get nervous.
questions like: 01 how do i kiss?
seriously… all these questions will come in you mind. its normal. when it does go to your head, you’ll start to be all worried and scared. and thats normal too.
02 what if i suck his mouth?????
03 what if my breath stinks?
04 what if his breath stinks?
05 what if im a bad kisser?
06 what if i hurt his lips/mouth/tongue???
07 if im a bad kisser, he’ll never kiss me again right?
08 should i breathe while kissing?
09 how should i breathe?
10 would kissing be as fun as how those celebrities potray in movies?
but then again, when you actually get to kiss someone, and started to be all comfortable about it (it took me about 1 month to get comfortable with it), only then will you get the hang of it…
and when you DO get the hang of it, you will definately start experimenting with different kisses. or like, play around… be naughty. and when you do, only then will you feel the fun of it.
but that is though, IF your partner is a good kisser.
things to spoil a good kiss:01 BAD BREATH!
hahahaha… so hey, take your time. dont rush. and when the time comes, have fun ;)
02 rough kisses
03 if it he/she hurts you (biting you tongue etc)
04 yucky teeth
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