It's rather funny to be inspired when you're in deep frustration. But that was what happened to me on the 28th of May.

I thought of quitting photography- to banish my dreams and hopes, and to journey as far as possible from the grips of it, but something called inspiration struck me right at the core. Instead of flinging my camera to the wall with fury, or plainly ignoring it, I took pictures with it. And... though I didn't think much while pressing the shutter button, I'm quite glad with the outcome of the pictures (and even more so after I've post-processed them in Photoshop just for fun).



That's the core of a guava rested on the back of my law notes, which were used to cover the surface of my journal. Looking at this picture after some time, I came up with the decision that it looks scary. It seems like the poor guava core is undergoing some sort of postmortem surgery in a fruit morgue, and the colour filters I've layered on the original shot certainly didn't help to turn things brighter... Made the atmosphere more sinister, it did.



Quite sickly looking colours I've chosen, but I like the shadows on my arm and hand.



A play of light and shadows. This one reminds me of shadow monsters and their allies of things that go bump in the night...



It was so difficult to take the picture of my legs. I had to lie down on my bed, place my feet on the wall, position them next to the light source, and keep still while I press the shutter button (the shutter lag obviously didn't help). As a result, my legs look shorter and stumpier, but I got the (sort of) shot I wanted. Additionally, I've chosen green-blue filters, as this brings memories of mermaids and their tails, haha. So the green-blue filters to represent the colours of the ocean...



Before taking this shot, I switched the white balance of the camera from 'cloudy' to 'incandescent'. This picture has been rotated clockwise, and saved in Photoshop after a minor adjustment of Curves. The lamp looks like a moon here, and I have this picture displayed as the 'avatar' in Windows Live Messenger currently...

Interestingly, Joon-Wye commented that my fingers formed a heart. I didn't notice that until he told me so... =) Also, he noted that I like to take pictures of body parts, haha. But I don't think he's right.



I shot my foot. 'Nuff said.


It was certainly intriguing to know that whilst dwelling in frustration and teetering on the edge of depression due to photography, I took part in it. I wanted to pause the process of taking photographs out of inspiration, habit and fun, but I failed to surrender almost entirely. It's as if I can't escape from the field itself.

I do believe it wouldn't be easy to let go of all of this. So do I, or do I not, persevere? This question has been lingering in my mind for weeks, and I chose not to give much thought to it since too much thinking often results in a melange of headaches and heartaches. Even though negative thoughts swirled in my mind and hazed it with confusion, one thing was made astonishing clear. My greatest enemy was, and always will, be me, myself and I.