I’ve always strived to be independent in making decisions involving my own life. Time and again I try my very best to give reasoning in my very own perspective of things; but, caught up in the middle of all that confusion, I always find myself being affected by people and their opinions and wants. In being individualistic, at the same time, I take importance in trying to listen to other's perspectives to make them happy. In the end, I do not know if I’m happy because I truly am or I am trying to make people happy. Is making people happy, making oneself happy?
You might have gotten yourself confused in the past sentence but I do not blame you for the confusion in your mind. It is as confusing as it sounds.
Just a few days back, I was questioned regarding decisions I made in life. I do not know the person’s perspective of questioning me in such a manner; but to me, every single action I did was questioned and I felt like I had to doubt my very own decisions to place them in comparison to the expectations of others. Friends exist to advise, no doubt. However, I think that there reaches a point that we should not impose our opinions unto others, no matter how strong our stance is; especially the matter does not involve health or money related issues like taking drugs or borrowing money from loan sharks. (That kind of imposing is understandable.)
Sometimes, people around us think that we can do better. They tell us, “This will look good for you,” or, “that looks superb on you.” Sometimes you very reluctantly say, “Yes” because you care about the opinions of others more than yours… I know at this very point, people think that I am weak in my opinion and that I am unable to assert my perspective of things. I do not think so. Fact is, I do so in so many things.
Humans cling to others, so attached and unable to accept reclusion. We want to be part of something so bad that we are willing to bend some personal rules and personal opinions though they hurt so badly. I know it is inevitable, you know so too though on the outer you may stand up for individuality and asserting personal opinions. Now what I have in question: Where is the cut of point? How will you put your foot down after so long of playing along?
Now, comes the part you say, “Stay true to yourself from the beginning.”
Then here comes the part whereby I say, “Problems evolve, they don’t just happen.”
I’m sure that everyone is questioning about the dilemma I am in. It is not a dilemma per se. I am merely disgruntled in certain aspects of thoughts and decisions and opinions of people around me. I have my limits though my threshold is very high. I am hard headed, but sometimes people should watch their words. I am very open minded, but sometimes people just don’t talk about certain stuff; and when they don’t, don’t push it. Again, I am open minded about fitting in; but sometimes I want to be me.
This might not be the best article to kick-start my writings here; but listening to perspectives on things is something I like to do. Solutions may be hung on a string just before our eyes, but the human eye is blinded by so much ignorance, oblivion and plain stress.
Lastly, here's an old poem of mine. To tell you the truth, it was written for my ex-boyfriend. I think you'll be able to figure it out. But this article has nothing to do with him lar. The poem just fits.
His parody
A parody,
One about life,
She took it, and pasted it,
to humour and laugh.
When it ended,
The audience cheered.
If they only knew the tears,
to all that was told.
The stage bright and lively,
shone in pride and glory,
to what seemed a story,
about a man who never knew,
the word happy.
Never did anyone know,
or think,
how it'd feel being him,
something that real.
- eries 21.07.05-
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;;Nowadays, I find that people have been very stressed up, including myself. Just recently, I have been stressed to the point of breaking down (in fact, I did). No, I'm not stressed about the environment, but rather the workload. I couldn't imagine why would our lecturers love to give so many assignments towards the end of the semester with similar deadlines. Worst of all, they cramped up all the tests to the same week as the assignment deadlines, so imagine having four tests in two days, maybe five?
[Stress] should never be the reason to bug you in whatever way possible.
But I'm really thankful that there are people who came to me and comforted me; one even offered to pray for me. At these moments, you will really treasure the people who care for you. It is at these moments that you will actually find out who your friends really are. Yet, I don't take these moments as an opportunity to test them.
People get stressed for different reasons. Some, like me, are stressed up because of the workload and the rushing deadlines; some are stressed due to relationship problems, family crises, peer pressure and so on. But come to think about it, are they really worth stressing you up? Not really, in fact, unless you allow them to do so and unless you don't know how to manage the stress. Having some stress is good for us mentally and emotionally, but seriously, it is actually not worth bugging you all the time. Knowing how to manage stress, for whatever reasons, may be the key towards looking at things in a more wider scope.
Stress can be our best friend, at the same time being our worst enemy. It can function to motivate us, yet greatly discourage us. Once again, it is down to how you handle stress. Whether the stress you are facing gives you a positive or negative outcome, it should never be left alone, and it should never be the reason to bug you in whatever way possible.
Different people have different methods of "de-stressing" themselves. It is good to get rid of stress once in a while, or more often, when you feel that this stress is taking a toll on you. Personally, I would recommend the following ways:
- Talk to your close friends. This could be the best method to get rid of stress. Talking to a close buddy of yours allows you to share your problems and seek help if necessary. Sometimes what you need at that moment is just a comforting word. If you feel like it, ask some friends and go for an outing at some local mamak stall!
- Exercising. Go for a jog, or a swim, to the gymnasium or even cycling! Exercising can really help you get rid of stress and allow you to keep things that you don't want to think about out of your head.
- Listen to music. Some people love to listen to songs like Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" because it seems to really turn your bad moments into good ones. Well, based on the mood of the song, that seems like it. Some people would listen to some happy and exciting songs to instil some happiness in them. But personally, when I'm stressed or unhappy about something, I would turn on my instrumental collection and select even some of the most doleful, heart-rending or angry-sounding pieces to listen. For me, these pieces help me indirectly express my current emotions and level of stress. For those whose ears are sharp, they can understand how I feel based on my music.
- Prayers. You may not be a very religious person, so if you don't do prayers, even some meditation will help. However, I would encourage that you try to pray besides just meditating. Not only will you find comfort, at the same time you build your relationship with the Almighty One. Sometimes, your best friend during hard times is the Unseen One (in fact, at all times).
- (This one suits girls most) Shopping. Yes! Nothing can be more satisfying than to do go shopping in your local shopping mall and spend some money to buy some things you like! But, be warned! Though you may really enjoy spending, you might end up having double the stress, especially financial stress! Budget your spending and you will be able to enjoy your shopping without worrying about your financial status, at the same time relieving your stress.
On a more personal level, I don't recommend you to play computer games like the "renowned" Counter Strike and Defence of the Ancients (DotA). Well, not that you can't play it to have fun, but some people just can't accept defeat, so instead of releasing stress, they get extra stress. If you have stress that will cause you to break down at any moment, playing computer games just won't help much.
This is just a rough guide to how you can handle stress. There are many other ways of course, depending on your own taste. The methods I listed above are just some that I practise myself or have observed other people doing so.
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;;Labels: Henry Yew's, Life, Stress
