Silent figures in the night This post is dedicated to thieves around the world. May you be forever cursed by a thousand misfortunes for every item that isn't yours.
Walk in shadows, out of sight;
You can't see us but we're there,
Watching you from everywhere.
We crawl on ceilings and on walls
While always seeking empty halls,
Seeking, tracking, looking out;
Treasure's always somewhere about.
We'll always find a trace or two
And get to doing what we always do:
Taking time to find your place
To profit from your graceless haste.
And voila! here is your door,
Behind which lies what we're looking for;
A trinket, perhaps? Something new!
Of some things one can't have too few.
A lock in place? Oh dear, oh dear.
But from it we have naught to fear:
A swish, a crick, a gentle tug,
Oh this lock's less trouble than a small bug!
The gateway yields, oh what a shame!
There is no lock that'll keep us lame-
So, in we come while you're away;
The 'mice' are here to sing and play!
Wallets, watches, coins and bills,
Dollars, cents - oh, the thrill!
Laptops, iPods, books and mags,
Even your own stash of fags!
When you get back, you'll feel bereft
'Cos everything's gone and nothing's left;
We cleaned up well without a broom:
It's just as if we owned your room!
You'll never find us how much you try
Not even when you break down and cry;
We have no soul nor sympathy,
Only greed and lust and apathy.
Silent figures in the night
Walk in shadows, out of sight;
Our itchy hands will take away
Your favorite stuff and ruin your day!
[ Read more! ]
;;Buddhism and Islam: A Crisis Emerges
3 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: stmaverick at 4:39:00 AM
From the BBC News website:
Attack on giant Pakistan Buddha
Suspected pro-Taleban militants have tried to blow up an ancient carving of Buddha in north-west Pakistan. The statue, thought to date from the second century BC, sustained only minimal damage in the attack near Manglore in remote Swat district. The area has seen a rise in attacks on "un-Islamic" targets in recent months. This is the first such attack in Pakistan and is reminiscent of the Taleban's 2001 destruction of the giant Buddhas at Bamiyan in Afghanistan.
[ Read article ]
The last time this happened was at Bamiyan, Afghanistan [ read article ], where the world's largest Buddhist statues were destroyed by the then-ruling Taliban regime for being "un-Islamic". Although the Taliban are now no longer in power, and on the run from US-NATO forces pursuing them in the mountainous regions of Afghanistan bordering Pakistan, already new extremists have stepped forward in Pakistan to continue their heinous crimes.
..the Bamiyan Buddhas survived for sixteen centuries in the remote fastness of the Afghan Hindu Kush. Neither the ravages of time, nor the conquering armies of Islam--not even the scourge of Genghis Khan--had laid them low.. - Andrew Forbes, CPAmedia.com
Supposedly following the destruction of the Bamiyan Buddhas, an international organization was established to protect and conserve religious sites worldwide [ read article ]. Granted, their jurisdiction probably accounts for nothing in the tribal-controlled border regions of Pakistan. Still, this startling lack of action on their part (aside from the expected cries of outrage and condemnation) is worrisome, as it demonstrates the terrorists' capability to continue their activities unimpeded, despite the world's opposition and horror.
It is obvious enough that the terrorists possess an agenda against all those who are not Muslims. Even better, considering events in Iraq (and the Middle East in general), they're more than willing to wage war against Muslims as well who do not see their side of the coin. Isn't it any wonder Islamophobia is at its height, and the United States is taking an increasingly hardline stance against nations suspected of harboring Muslim terrorists?
[ Read more! ]
;;How did I get here? The pain so unexpected & undeserved & for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn't hate the cabinet door, I hated my life, my house, my family. My backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change, nothing new would ever be expected; it had to end, & it did. Now in the dark world where I dwell ugly things & surprising things, & sometimes little wondrous things spill out at me constantly, & I can count on nothing. - Robert Arctor, 'A Scanner Darkly'
Robert Arctor (Keanu Reeves) is the boyfriend of Donna Hawthorne, a Substance D dealer. Robert Arctor and his housemates, Barris (Robert Downey Jr.) and Luckman (Woody Harrelson), are all heavy drug users and spend much of their time having drug-induced conversations.
However, in secret, Arctor is an undercover operative for the Anaheim Police Department. Wearing a scramble suit that disguises his identity (even from the other police officers with whom he works), his task is to uproot the dealers of Substance D in the government's increasingly disturbing war against the dregs of society.
Codenamed "Fred", he is trying to get close to Donna to identify her supplier, but she's refusing his sexual advances, and Arctor's housemates are beginning to suspect the reality of the relationship.
Things begin take a turn for the worse when "Fred" is ordered by his superior, "Hank", to spy on Arctor because the police suspect Arctor is the key to busting a major drug operation. In the meantime, Arctor's housemates are becoming increasingly paranoid with the idea that the police are out to get them.
And so begins a strange cycle where the hunter is hunting himself, yet doesn't seem to realize the true nature of everything going on around him. The film centers a lot around the concept of paranoia and the effects of drug abuse, accentuated further by the fact that the entire film is rendered as an animated graphic novel. It seems like the whole world is being viewed through the eyes of an addict, and thus adds another layer of interest to the entire serving.
The ending might not be to many people's liking, but, without giving too much away, it also raises a few more interesting questions of ethics and 'doing the right thing for the greater good'. However, overall, I enjoyed the movie despite its overtly dark and depressing mood. Comic humor is provided by the inane conversations between Arctor and his housemates, as well as the idiosyncratic Freck, who's hallucinations are always a source of comedy.
Ultimately, if you're into twisting conspiracy theories or have a taste for intelligent fair like this, I'd definitely recommend this movie. Be prepared to not understand a lot of parts, though; as Arctor becomes lost in the convoluted world that becomes his reality, things might just be just as blur for you.
- saintmaverick -
[ Read more! ]
;;
I suppose this post has been a long time coming. It's like a letter you wrote one hot dusty afternoon, only to stop at the postbox, then dump it into the trash can beside it. Somehow, no matter how long you think about what to say and how to say it, the words never come out right. But they say if flowers waited till everything was just perfect before they blossomed after the long winter, then we'd never see spring at all.
It's been a long time since we started RANDTS. A lot of things have happened since then. We've seen members come and go as well as visitors drop by and leave. We've even had controversy drop by once in awhile for the occasional cup of tea. And still we weathered it all.
By this time, you might be wondering, "What's this guy comin' back all of a sudden? It's not like he cares about the blog anyways..."
That's true. If I'd cared I'd have been posting frequently. Trying to fan the flame even as our heads were repeatedly dunked into buckets of cold water. I'd have been there in RANDTS' darkest hour trying alongside you guys to keep the passion going, keep the momentum up.
But the hard fact is I didn't, did I?
It's like waking up from a bad dream only to see the mask of a killer you thought you'd never see again. The glint of the jagged blade in the darkness, your scarlet blood upon the sheets and the knife. You clutch your belly to find your guts were ripped out while you were in the nightmare. As your life force ebbs away and you fade painfully into oblivion, the killer - mockingly, haughtily, dishearteningly - removes his mask. Then you realize all this while you've been afraid of your own reflection in the mirror. Was I the person who stabbed myself in the back, unknowingly?
What prompted me to write this post? Perhaps the amount of resentment, sadness - disappointment? - that is now plain for all to see on the blog. Even the message on the bulletin board below the ever-changing banner seems like a mockery of the shadow RANDTS has become. But no, that still wasn't what hurt me the most.
It was a friend that I know. Or knew, depending on who you asked. A close friend. A good friend. Many months ago he inspired me, and many others, with a heart-warming tale of triumph in adversity of the worst kind. He shared with us a cheerful optimism that many others in his situation would be hard-pressed to display. He reminded us of the brittle fragility of life, and how each moment we take a breath is a moment to be savored as if it was our last. He told us the tough get going when the going gets tough. He shared with us the power of faith and love and family, and how these continue to be his pillars in life, providing him with the strength to pull through a life most others wouldn't consider worth living.
I saw him as a God, a hero, a true man among men. He inspired me, as he has undoubtedly inspired many others. I was touched by his sheer willpower and spirit, and looked to him as a guiding light when the world is descending into darkness.
It was only recently that I saw my hero give up hope. Not because he was at death's doorstep. Not because he suffered the loss of a family member. But because I failed to commit to the vision that I and two others had created. He gave up because I did too.
How else do you convey emotions in an email? Electrons cannot show you shed tears or distant laughter. Electrons moving at lightspeed don't know the meaning of a smile in a group photo, or the hidden jokes associated with the size of the blade you hold. Electrons shooting around the world and back can only do so much to send a message, but it is memories that do the rest of the work.
Mea culpa.
For awhile I held hands and rubbed shoulders with some of the most vibrant and unique people in the world. For awhile we traded inane stories, sexy pictures, lengthy essays, fiery rants, perfect pictures, informative articles, and so many more things. For awhile I was proud to call myself a RANDTSter...
...and honestly? I still am.
Perhaps it is time we gave this blog a little peace and quiet while we start looking in ourselves and seriously ask what it is we really want out of RANDTS.
Now, I think I know what I want. Maybe not a 100%, but even an inkling's good enough. I seriously have no idea what kind of response I can expect to this post. Regardless, the burden is mine to bear. It was my fault, and for that I apologize. I'm sorry I left in your hour of need. I'm sorry I shirked my responsibilities as founding father of RANDTS. I'm sorry I ignored the blog for so long.
But most of all, to all of you here who've been here with RANDTS and I from the start - especially Albert and Jaspreet - I'm sorry for hurting you, and for that I seek your forgiveness .
Lastly, I have this to say: call me idealistic, but even after the coldest darkest winter, flowers still break through the frost and blossom into majestic beauty, heralding the beginning of spring. I'm here hoping winter ends soon... and that spring will come with the dawn of the new sun. I'm ready to rebuild the ruins of RANDTS and start anew. After all, that's what spring is about, isn't it - nature getting a brand new start?
Thank you one and all.
[ Read more! ]
;;Durex Australia Looking For Official Condom Testers!
23 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: stmaverick at 9:04:00 PM
As this news article from The Register puts it:
Durex Down Under is looking for Aussies over the age of 18 to fill 200 positions as condom testers, stuff.co.nz reports.
Durex marketing manager Sam White explained that successful applicants would get a AU$60 selection of rubberwear, and would be "required to provide the company with honest feedback about the products' performance".
[ Continue reading this article ]
Since it's only open to Australians, here are a few things before I go change my nationality:
- Do we have to bring our own - erm - partner?
- Are ladies allowed to apply if they bring their own partner?
- Will we be monitored during the - erm - testing period?
- When's the next flight to Australia?
ROFLMAO! =)
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;
Who decided your future? You? Or did you take up something that satisfied your parents' wishes?
Be careful of whom you aim to please with your actions. As Eries said,
In the end, I do not know if I’m happy because I truly am or I am trying to make people happy. Is making people happy, making oneself happy?
As much as your parents want you to succeed, make sure you yourself have an interest in what you will be studying. You do not follow a future others dictate - not even your parents - simply because they prefer you take it.
Take the time to go in-depth into what you plan to do later on in life. Study places to further your studies in your chosen field, find out what your course will be about, look up possible career opportunities. The Star newspaper offers occasional supplements about institutes of higher education in and out of the country.
Most importantly, don't go about making uninformed decisions, i.e. choose to be a singer merely because you want to be rich and famous like all of them on TV. If you can convince your parents that you truly have a passion for it, that you know your stuff and the possible risks, they will be more than happy to let you go for it.
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;
This is a little piece of insight I received from the PERMATA (PETRONAS Management Training) camp I recently had in Casa Rachado, Port Dickson, from the 18th to the 22nd of June, 2007. Tell me what you think about it.
How many doors are there in your life? Think about it. How many doors have you seen in your life that you can think about? Perhaps you remember the crib door from your youth - or the great big glass doors at the office where your dad worked. Or that ominous wooden door that leads into the examination hall where you did your SPM.
Think about all the doors in your life. Perhaps when you entered varsity life from high school, the change of pace came to you as a liberation. That's one door - the door to a new stage in your life. Or maybe you made a change in yourself one day, something for the better - another door, the door to positive change.
What is a door for? What is its purpose? Most would say security, or privacy. It guarantees your safety (most of the time). When the lock is broken, it feels as if even the merest wind will push it open. You can't sleep at night, knowing your privacy is not as guaranteed as it was before, when the lock worked.
A door might also serve to restrict access sometimes, and also to provide a first impression to new visitors. When a wooden door is old or broken, some people use it as firewood. Others use it as a raft. More creative people draw and spray it with graffiti, giving it new life as an art canvas.
Then think of what we normally do to doors. When we're in a bad mood, we slam the door. At times we release our anger on the door. We punch, kick, bang, bash, hammer, scrape and tear at the door. We clobber it relentlessly till we need to catch our breaths and take a look at the damage we've done. Then remorsefully, we step away and return to our lives, slightly less pressured than before.For all that it has done throughout its life for you, it meets its end in a way that is cruel and uncaring.
Think of the one door in your life. The one door that provides you with security and comfort. Privacy, even. The one door you can't sleep at night for, knowing that it doesn't work as well as before, or is slightly spoiled. The door that protects you despite everything you do to it in anger.
Think about it. When you were young, one door bore you into this earth, and watched with tearful eyes and radiant smiles as it cradled you for the first time. This door ran its fingers over your head, cooing gently as you gazed at this new world around you. And somehow, your instincts told you this door was the one responsible for your life.
The door watched as you learned to walk and talk. It gave gentle encouragement to you every step of the way, and protected you fiercely from that which might harm you. In the dark of night, when a lone mosquito sought you as prey, the door did not just chase it away, but crushed it that it may never return to hurt you again.
As you entered school for the first time, this door fawned over every inch of you, fussing over your uniform and books and hair. You cried when the door brought you to this strange new place full of other children just like you. And though the door might not say anything at times, it prayed for you silently each time you were away from home. It prayed that you may find new friends and gain much knowledge. The door waits for you till you come home, cupping your cheek and helping you with your bag. It asks, "How was your first day at school?"
Gradually you grew bigger and bigger. The door continued to look after you as you progressed from primary to secondary. How proud it was of you! It shuttled you back and forth, providing you with the best things it could give - all for your sake. You grew into a useful person, learning more and more with each passing day.
Soon, the door realizes that time has passed so quickly, and you move on to the new daunting world of varsity life. How would you cope on your own? it wondered. It cried as the day drew near for you to leave home for the next stage in your life. The door watched as you left, tears brimming in its eyes and fear and worry lodged deep in its heart.
And everyday you were away, whether you were studying or hanging out or even blogging, this one door prayed for your safety and health. It prayed that you may aspire to even greater heights, and that you may continue to receive all the best things while you were not home. It prayed for you, and even in the wee hours of the night, the door woke to lucid dreams, sweat beading on its forehead, but it still prayed even as it wept as it realized you were not home, but away in your new place.
And it is this same door we kick and punch and scream at when we are angry. We hate it at times for not understanding us. We slam it when the mood strikes us. And when this door grows old, we throw it out with the trash, some people even using it for firewood. For all that it has done throughout its life for you, it meets its end in a way that is cruel and uncaring.
By now, you would have realized that this door is actually symbolically representing your parents. Think about all that the door has done for you. Think back about what you have done in return. And think about all that you will do for this door in future. Will you savor and love this door for all eternity? Or will you consign it to the bonfire and leave it to burn by itself in the night?
Think about it.
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;13th May Incident: The Truth At Last
5 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: stmaverick at 12:53:00 PMWhen I was a student in secondary school, I always wondered about the May 13 riots that happened nearly 40 years ago in Malaysia. My history textbook barely devoted even a paragraph to this issue.History classes taught students about historical bias. But to know that such misdeeds have been done to hide the bloodiest day in our history? Unthinkable!
Among other things, it only states that:
- the violence was triggered by the Chinese-dominated opposition supporters’ provocation in celebrating their electoral victory which saw the ruling Alliance Party suffer a major setback;
- racial tensions that arose due to economic disparity between the major races also contributed to the riots;
- the riots were the basis for the formation of the National Operations Council (which most Malaysian students would know - if they remember at all - as MAGERAN, or Majlis Gerakan Negara) under Tun Abdul Razak, and;
- this led to the formulation of the New Economic Policy, which aimed to uplift the economic standards of the Malays (and is still in place today).
Not-so-recently, Dr Kua Kia Soong released a book unveiling the truth behind the infamous May 13th riots. His book, May 13: Declassified Documents on the Malaysian Riots of 1969, is the result of three months of research at the Public Records Office in London to study records and declassified documents on the riots.
The book also debunks some of the myths behind the darkest period in our country's history and paints a different, shocking picture into the reasons behind its occurrence.
[...] the May 13 incident was a coup d’etat against the Tunku [the Prime Minister at the time] by the then emergent Malay state capitalists - backed by the police and army - to seize control of the reign of power from the old aristocrats to implement the new Malay agenda. [...]
[...] A secret document from the British cabinet office featured in the book showed that barely a week after the riots broke out, the Central Intelligence Agency had figured out what Tun Razak was planning - “to formalise Malay dominance, sideline the Chinese and shelve the Tunku”. [...]
[...] The role of the security forces in the May 13 bloodshed was also questioned in Kua’s findings. “Even at that time, people in the diplomatic core (were wondering) how come the day the riot broke out, Razak met with the chiefs of the police and army but they did not do anything,” he said. [...] “They are one of the most effective in putting down the communist insurrection [which was] a far, far more difficult operation than putting down riot, but they could not put down (such riot [sic]) in 1969 for days, for weeks," [...]
[ note: Susan Loone has made available a comprehensive summary about the riots from Dr Kua's book ]
History classes taught students about historical bias. The tales of old would be told by those with power and wealth, rewritten as they saw fit. Even King Xerxes alluded to this in the movie '300':
There will be no glory in your sacrifice. I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories. Every piece of Greek parchment shall be burned. Every Greek historian and every scribe shall have their eyes put out and their tongues cut from their mouths while uttering the very name of Sparta or Leonidas will be punishable by death. The world will never know you existed at all!
But to know that such misdeeds have been done to hide the bloodiest day in our history? Unthinkable! At the worst it would have only remained a conspiracy theory, a rumour, nothing more. Now the evidence shows otherwise.
Now the government has moved into 'damage control' mode, unwittingly providing the book with free publicity:
Ministry seizes controversial May 13 bookBut a press statement by SUARAM indicates the government might not have been officially involved at all:
May 15, 07 8:56pm
The Internal Security Ministry confiscated 10 copies a controversial book with new claims on the May 13 racial riots from a major bookstore in the Midvalley shopping centre today. According to the publishers of ‘May 13: Declassified Documents on the Malaysian Riots of 1969′, a team of ministry officers visited the MPH bookstore this afternoon. The officers advised the popular bookstore not to sell the book as it may be banned.
According to a letter issued by the ministry officers to the bookstore, the books were confiscated from the shelves for suspicion of being an “undesirable publication” based on Section 7 of the Printing Press and Publications Act 1984.
The act empowers the minister to ban any publication which is “prejudicial to or likely to be prejudicial to public order, morality, security, the relationship with any foreign country or government, or which is likely to alarm public opinion”.[ courtesy of MalaysiaKini ]
We have been informed by our distributor that ten (10) copies of SUARAM’s latest publication titled, “May 13: Declassified Documents on the Malaysian Riot of 1969″ by Dr. Kua Kia Soong, were taken from MPH Midvalley yesterday afternoon by officers from the Ministry of Internal Security.
The reason given by these officers led by Ahmad Faisal Arshad was that the book had contravened the Printing Presses and Publications Act 1984. We were further informed that these officers had advised the bookshop not to sell or display the book.
It must stressed that there are no orders coming from the Ministry of Internal Security pertaining to this book. Further, the book contravenes no part of the said Act. We consider the actions of Ahmad Faisal Arshad and his team to be arbitrary and illegal.
SUARAM views the seizure of those ten (10) books as illegal, and demands that KDN pays for the ten books or return these books to the bookshop within 7 days; failing which, we will instruct our legal counsels to take action.
Now three senators from the Dewan Negara are calling for this book to be banned, while Deputy Internal Security Minister Fu Ah Kiow states that the ministry will look into the book's contents and take action soon.
But Dr Kua has this to say about the possibility of his book being banned:
“In the age of the Internet, what does banning a book mean? We can put it on the Web, you can’t do anything.”
Bravo, Dr Kua! :)
It now remains to be seen how this new controversy will develop. The question is, about the youth who were never there during the bloodshed and violence, will they even bother to know about this?
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;Sometimes you wonder how some folks (especially in Malaysia) have the audacity to talk without thinking. Really, judging from the things they type, it's glaringly obvious that these people never really bothered to zip up their mouths for awhile before shooting off it at others. Naturally they also don't bother giving a damn about being polite or civilized at all. I thought a forum was for people to exchange ideas, not ruthlessly beat them down whenever they express one that doesn't tally with yours!
Case in point: check out John Lee's blog, Infernal Ramblings, at the chatbox in the right-hand sidebar.
Now pay attention to the mad rantings of the person nicknamed "joshvinder". Start from bottom to top, right before the nickname 'No Eggs'.
Disheartening, no? With such people trawling the blogosphere and spreading ill will everywhere they end up, it's hardly any wonder why our Information Minister is so anxious to rein in Malaysian bloggers; including the rest of us who had nothing to do with it in the first place.
It's sickening to be reminded that there are many more "joshvinders" out there in the country right now. On a forum once, I was heckled by another 'experienced' user (by nature of the obscenely huge number of posts he has put up to date) who used a variety of colourful and fascinating words on me due to a disagreement of sorts in which we ended up.
Alright, maybe I was at fault for misreading his message and responding rather harshly - but it was never intentionally done. The next thing I knew I was embroiled in a flame war all on my own! Needless to say, I found out from many other users that he has abused them online many times - even witnessing myself him starting up another flame war with another user of that forum.
And it wasn't just about the issue we were discussing at that point - at times he'd go on to insult our parentage, our heritage, our culture, our education, etc. Basically he took a potshot at everything related to us in an effort to draw us in to the conflict with our own weapons. I was damn near close to breaking. Still, bad experiences that could have cost me my friendships helped remind me that that was the last thing I should do.
I have since stopped posting at that forum due to his insolent nature and coarse language. I thought a forum was for people to exchange ideas, not ruthlessly beat them down whenever they express one that doesn't tally with yours! That defeats the purpose of the whole thing entirely, no?
Any of you here have ever had that experience before? Being heckled online by someone hiding behind a pseudonym? It certainly makes you wonder how some immature people can so freely abuse the rights to freedom of speech which democracy has granted them.
[ related article: Bloggers' Code of Conduct: The Great Debate ]
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;The Real Reason Why Donald Duck Doesn't Wear Pants
2 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: stmaverick at 11:57:00 AMJust in case you've ever wondered about it, here's an answer from mrBadak.com:
(0_o) ..w00t!!
Now the million dollar question: guess who's the pervert. *grins*
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;
From Sophinette.com, presenting the world's biggest dog. But is it a real picture, or was it doctored? Hercules is a real dog, and does hold the title of World's Biggest Dog - but is he really that big?
The debate rages on...
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;How to Be The Great Conversationalist You’ve Always Wanted
2 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: stmaverick at 3:05:00 AM(this guide was written with the help from several sources: WikiHow, Art of Schmooze, Success Training Inc., AskMen.com, Scott H Young and The Winning Attitude)I originally put this up on my blog, but since I thought it'd be useful for a lot more people, I put it up here on RANDTS as well. =D
Don't we all know the feeling of insecurity that some of us get when we're around people? And when you're finally face-to-face with one person, all by yourselves, you're hit with the ultimate dilemma - you have no idea what to say next!
The problem of not knowing what to say to someone you've just met is more than just an embarrassing silence - it can be a severe confidence-breaker for any person who knows it all too well. If you've had this problem for awhile, isn't it time you started taking steps to change things? Here are some handy tips I've compiled from the Internet (what a useful tool it is!), coupled with my own opinions and experiences, to help you out!
Don't Panic
There's always a first time for everything. Panicking isn't really of any use to you because it doesn't improve the situation, but can do a lot to mess it up. Some people are just so nervous that they'll screw up big time that they fuss over their hair, their clothes, their hands, their food, their drink, whether they're standing too far, too close, are they giving enough attention...
Quit worrying! Go over to them, say "Hi", give your best smile - make sure it's not the kind of smile that'll scare people off with your enthusiasm! - and shake hands firmly. Look them in the eyes and introduce yourself to them.
(For those of you too shy to do so, here's a tip: look at the bridge of their nose, the spot exactly between both their eyes. That way, people will still have the impression that you're looking at them. Just remember not to stare.)
Speak slowly and audibly enough for them to catch what you're saying. You don't want to give people the impression you work on a bullet train for a living.
If there are lulls in the conversation, don't fret! Use the pause to reflect back on your conversation so far. Was there anything interesting in the conversation that you've just had? Did you miss something the other party had said earlier? Then mention it and keep the conversation going.
Don't Get Too Personal
There's always a time and place to tell people about your most heart-wrenching breakup to date, and when you're with new faces, it's never that time. Ask yourself: is that really what people want to hear?
When you're around people whom you've known for quite some time, they listen to you speak about personal matters because they already know you to some extent. When you start to get into matters that concern you around new people, they're likely to be a little apprehensive considering the fact they barely know you yet, and already you're opening yourself up for them.
People don't really learn about you from what you say. The way you say things are much more important. How you speak and carry yourself in the presence of others tells them much more about you than an hour-long narrated autobiography would. Unless you've grown up around Madonna and Elvis Presley your whole life, people aren't really that interested in you - yet.
Of course, since conversation is about two parties interacting, you'd better make sure you're learning from others about them while you're busy teaching others about you. On that note, we move on into:
Let Others Do the Work and Take Credit for It
The art of great conversation is not about doing all the talking and hogging the limelight. The trick is that most great conversationalists get others to do the talking for them. Not 'talk' as in the ventriloquist's puppet; 'talk' as in they get others to speak while they listen!
Let's face it, the most interesting topic everyone loves is the one about 'me, myself, and I'. Everyone can't resist the temptation to talk about their own lives to the whole world! Why else are personal blogs so prolific on the Internet? ;)
To get people to respond more enthusiastically to your questions, try asking more open-ended questions. These kind of questions are basically impossible to answer with just one word (unless the other person wants to come across as being impossibly dumb), and start like:
- What did you think about [blank]?
- How did you [blank]?
- What did you like best about [blank]?
- Tell me about [blank]...
When people answer these kind of questions, they tend to give long, detailed answers rather than simple ones. After that, you can pretty much set the direction of the conversation based on what they have just said. Through this method, you'll also be able to find out the other side's interests, and draw them in to the conversation even more.
Of course, looking for something to fill the [blank] parts would be pretty difficult, wouldn't it? And here's where it's important to:
Pay Attention: Be Observant
Sure, anyone can talk about the weather, but how many people would be interested in taking the conversation in a different direction from where you started? Not many, I can tell you that - not unless you combined the weather cliche with one of the questions I showed you above.
Sometimes, the easiest way to start a conversation is also the simplest. Just pay attention to your surroundings. Look for something that's out-of-the-ordinary and worth talking about. Focus on the person you're talking to; what is he/she wearing? Are there any interesting accessories that he/she's got on?
Ask about them - or better still, compliment it (sincerely, if you please - no one enjoys apple-polishing, even if they're the apple), then ask him/her about it: where it came from, for example. Then follow the steps I've shown you before and take the conversation your way.
The Art of Active Listening
Remember that being observant also means being attentive to the other party. Listening is a very powerful act that builds trust and self-esteem. These two things naturally increase as people talk to you more and more. Of course, since conversations are two-way, what you really need is the art of active listening.
Active listening means showing the other party that you've been paying attention. Listen to what they're saying, then pause momentarily (this is important) before responding to them. One effective response would be to paraphrase their words. Therefore, you'd start off with something like, "So what you're saying is ..." and you'd go on to repeat whatever they said in your own words.
(The pause is crucial because besides buying you time to formulate a reply, it also allows whatever the other party has said to sink in a little deeper so you understand them better. Plus, it shows people that you're taking them seriously and you're not just eager to get a word in for the sake of it. If you find you still don't know what to say, you could ask them to clarify what they've said, and take the conversation from there.)
Also, while they're busy talking, use occasional nods of the head, and say "Yes" or "I see" or "That's interesting". The idea is to show people that you're paying attention to them, and not thinking about something else. It's a ridiculously simple tool to get conversations going and to build new friendships.
Tell Great Stories
Some great conversationalists keep a database of funny and witty anecdotes in their head that they can relate in a conversation to lighten the mood and perk up their other party's attention. However, there's a key to just what you should say and what not to say in order not to wind up with a bored listener (or worse, more) when you're done.
- Make sure your story is interesting. Have at least a few interesting points to share in the course of your talking. Make sure it isn't long, unless you have more than one interesting point to tell. Space the interesting bits out to break the monotony and keep people hooked.
- Put the most interesting point at the end of the story. Your story should build up to the inevitable climax, not degrade gradually till it becomes a boring tale.
- Keep your story personal. Stories about yourself provide a unique insight into your characteristics and personality. Thus, you shouldn't talk about stories that happened to your friends or relatives, i.e. persons whom the people you're talking with wouldn't really know (the world isn't that small - yet). Most people don't really care about people they've never met before. Since you're there in front of them, introduce yourself to them - in a more interesting way.
- Make sure you know your stories well. Pausing to recall a part of your story detracts from the overall mood and doesn't reflect well on your part. Practice reciting these stories, and slowly accustom yourself to get the timing and emphasis right. Have several interesting anecdotes on call that you can use in conversations. One advice: don't grasp for stories. Grasping includes questions like "How was your day?" These questions should be kept as a last resort.
Be Confident!
The most important part about the whole thing? Confidence. Without the courage to go up to a person and put all that you've learned into action, everything goes to waste.
Some things to keep in mind to keep up your self-esteem and boost your confidence:
- Dress up a little. Comb your hair (or muss it up stylishly, whichever you fancy), put on some bling, a little cologne/perfume. You don't have to go overboard on style, just make sure you look good. People tend to react more favorably when they have a good first impression of you. The easiest way to gain that would be to present yourself properly.
- Wear something you're comfortable in. It doesn't matter whether it's a formal or informal event - make sure you wear something that suits you, that you like. Make sure it looks presentable, though!
- Body language is important. Stand straight, smile, and just be yourself. No point putting on airs and trying to be somebody you're not. Not only do people quickly see through this trick, they'll also get the impression that you're someone who isn't comfortable about himself.
The above three things help you to present a better image to the world at large. Also, when you look good (and know it), it helps you a little in being a little more daring, a little more confident. Coupled with the positive reaction from others around you, you'll naturally feel comfortable about yourself - and that helps in getting conversations going.
And When it Ends...
Of course, not everyone is bound to succeed all the time. Hell, I've had my fair share of awkward moments too. But remember, always keep in mind that failure's never a barrier to achieving more. It's only a sign you need more practice, and need to try more!
If you did get a conversation going - even if it was only for a short while - then kudos! You are that much closer to being a great conversationalist. Before you part with your companion, shake hands, smile, and say thank you before moving on. The least you can do is leave politely. Never think you can't do it. Most great conversationalists were not born; they were made.
Conversations with new people shouldn't have to be something arduous, like a chore. It should be something fun that we look forward to, like a challenge to be overcome. The important things to keep in mind are to keep your cool and refrain from talking too much about yourself. Get others interested in you by getting them to do the talking, then listen attentively to them. Share interesting anecdotes with your partners, and dress well to give them a good first impression.
Hope this guide helped you out, and good luck in all your endeavors!
Note from the blogger:
This is my first How-To guide. Comments and feedback from all of you would be really appreciated. Is there anything I could improve on? Do you have any requests or suggestions on other How-To guides you'd like to see? Please comment and help me improve my writing. Thank you! :)
Cheers,
Jared
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;Albert, I sure hope that you don't become someone like this guy in the future, yeah? Otherwise your posts are going to be really long.
The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?”
The student replied, “Here’s an orange.”
The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!”
The student then replied, “Okay. I’d tell him ‘I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding . . . “
[ Courtesy of the Ultimate Jokes Collection ]
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;It's the deadliest shooting rampage to date to occur in the United States. A gunman meticulously prepared himself with weapons, ammunition and body armor for an assault on the Virginia Tech university campus, killing 32 people.
Rumours abound that the attack resulted from what was supposed to be a lovers' feud. His girlfriend, who was from Virginia Tech, had left him for another guy. She was the main target of the attack, it was claimed.
Details are sketchy, but investigations are underway to find out the real cause of the attack. Our hearts go out to the men and women of VT, and you have our deepest sympathies and condolences.
For more information:
- Gunman kills 32 at Virginia Tech before being killed
- Highly unlikely this was a spur of the moment emotional move (VT shooting)
- God Bless Virginia Tech
~verus rara avis~
Comrade's Update: Virginia. Tech President: Gunman was student from South Korea.
[ Read more! ]
;;Chronicles of the Cradle has been updated with "The Cane-Man"! The eccentric Cane-Man enjoyed his visits to the place every week. Without fail, he would turn up every Tuesday afternoon, precisely at 4.05pm, at the front gate. The items he carried were all but predictable: a bouquet of tulips (courtesy of the peasants' market nearby) and a chocolate bar. The bouquets were always for the nurses ("his little boy's mothers", as he affectionately termed them), while the bar was for his little precocious darling. The inmates' uprising two years later changed all that. Mr London, as expected, was shattered by the sudden turn of events, and would have jumped into the raging inferno of the Cradle were it not for the intervention of firefighters. He watched with tears of rage and frustration as the flames cremated his family's heir alive, the screams of the dying children to be forever etched into his memory.
An excerpt:
Just so you know! *wink*
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;Sometimes, among all the forwarded emails you receive, you occasionally get gems such as these:
Cool, huh?
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;What happens if George W. Bush gets Force powers? What kind of a Jedi would he be? Check this video out to know the answers! It's hilarious; I guarantee that!
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;Bloggers' Code of Conduct: The Great Debate
1 mad rant(s) » Add your own! RANDTed: stmaverick at 2:16:00 PMMost of you would think the reason for me discussing this is because of the question of the NSTP Sdn. Bhd. vs Jeff Ooi/Ahirudin Attan case [read Bloggers Sued: A chronology of events]. For those of you who aren't in the Bloggers United movement (or have not been keeping up-to-date with the progress of the case), the link leads to Research on Malaysian Bloggers. ...will the proposed Bloggers' Code of Conduct build a free, regulated blogging environment, or impose a totalitarian iron rule of law?...
Well, that's partly the reason why. But the main issue in that debate was, "Are bloggers liable for slanderous/defamatory comments posted by readers on their blog?"
Here I'll talk about a new issue that's cropped up in the international blogosphere (that's right, folks, we're taking the war out of the country), starting with the Kathy Sierra incidents [read Death threats against bloggers are NOT "protected speech"].
Now the issue at hand has shifted (though not really in Malaysia) to the conduct of bloggers/commenters online. To think that people would go out of their way to shut someone up online by posting death threats against her (and it isn't just all talk - there were a few 'disturbing' pictures) is horrifying.
Hence, to counter these anonymous users abusing the freedom of the Internet, people are already uniting in a concerted effort to draft a workable and acceptable Bloggers' Code of Conduct. One such draft can be found at this link (complete with badges for people who obey the code or choose not to follow it): [read Draft Bloggers' Code of Conduct]
However, the blogosphere has not united behind this movement completely. There are some bloggers [read Segala: Do we want a code for blogs?] who say that it's up to the blogger to choose whether to adhere to the code (if an official one does come into existence). There are also those who are completely against it [read Blogger Code of Conduct? Two words - Fuck off].
Whatever the support (or resistance) to the Code of Conduct [read robhyndman.com: Blogging Code of Conduct, Redux], there are some things that are interestingly noted by commenters on the Draft Bloggers' Code of Conduct. Among them:2. We won't say anything online that we wouldn't say in person.
If blogging is international, then I would disagree with this point.
In the authoritarion and cruel regimes, if one wants to get himself hanged, only then he would in person criticize the regime. Blogging is the great and unique way of protest for the oppressed people against such regimes.
Also:What a load of bull. People should be civil to each other without it having to be 'enforced'. Who is going to enforce this code of conduct? You'll be wanting a regulatory body next, and all bloggers and commenters to register, carry cards or wear badges. The internet is free, and should stay that way. There are ways to trace even an anonymous commenter's IP these days.
Some like the idea, though:Interesting idea. A lot of the points in this draft could apply to web sites in general, not just blogs. Especially forums.
I like the idea, but I agree with other commenters about the fact that many bloggers would want to customize the code to their specific site and ideals. Maybe the code could be something like Creative Commons licenses where there are different levels to choose from.
It will be interesting to see where the debate goes from here. Is the Code threatening the democracy and freedom of the Internet? Is it actually helping to build a better, global online community that contributes proactively and maturely? Or is this the end of blogging as we know it? Whatever happens, ultimately RANDTS will be affected in its own little way as well.
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;Sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. [pause to breathe deeply] Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Do you know that women can have an hour long orgasm?
- Dr Cameron, from the TV series House [more quotes here]
Sex aside, I'm typing this as a response to Comrade's post [RANDTS To The Next Level].
I guess I did say I wanted to have a dynamic group blog sometime back then. However, it must be said that I think we do have that environment now, to some extent. Judging by the posts' content, we have an extremely varied level of topics relating to current issues and even personal problems on the blog.
...just my two cents' worth...
But for our blog to be truly 'dynamic', there needs to be some degree of engagement, comment-wise, with our audience - the readers of RANDTS. Blogger-wise, we're getting loads of comments from the people who contribute to RANDTS, but near nothing from the readers of the blog.
I was made to understand that RANDTS does have a substantial following from around the country (although these statistics are by no means comparable to the more established blogs out there). Somehow though, there doesn't seem to be a very enthusiastic response here from them, despite them telling me how much they enjoy reading the posts we put up here.
Personally, I'm against imposing a quota at all for a number of reasons. One of them is because I'm not as frequent a poster as Comrade. Another is because some readers mentioned that coming to RANDTS actually gives them an information overload (due to the large number of posts that crop up when they don't drop by the site for a few days).
In the end, it all boils down to the question of 'quality vs quantity'. Too many posts may not necessarily be a good thing. I'd prefer it if we let things stay as they are now. We'll definitely streamline a few things here and there, but we can always work those out later.
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;Since Comrade is quite a fan of this series of short stories I wrote, I'm just announcing it here for him - and anyone else who's interested - that the third sequel is up! *grins*“In times like these, father,” the officer whispered as the pastor’s eyes bulged with rage, “I wonder where your Almighty God is.”
By the by, the pull-quote highlights a section from They Came: Part III.
What is the series all about? Well, here's the introduction:
What would a nation be without law and order? Lost, confused, anarchic - the words differ, but the general consensus is the same. There would be no escape for anyone from the carnage and chaos that would inevitably come to grip the country in which they live.
In this mini-series of inter-connected episodes, a tale of courage, honour, and strength is upheld. People fighting for the beliefs and things they hold dear; values that matter even more in the face of mounting adversity, when everything threatens to tear your lives apart.
Read the story of the people who were affected the most - on the day They Came.
For the first two parts:
Do comment on any of the three! I want to hear what you have to say! I'll work on the fourth one next time round when I've the time, alright?
Thanks, all!
~verus rara avis~
[ Read more! ]
;;
