Sorry if the quality of the picture isn't good, I took a photograph of the picture, no scanner at the moment. But after so long, here's a drawing I want to share with all of you. Something that I came up with around a year and a half ago.

Sometimes things happen, and people pledge to change. But for better or worse we never will know. Change is so subjective, anything is possible. Look back at all those friends you had from high school/primary, did they turn out to be who you expected them to be? I've had friends who changed from being bullies to fairly nice people. I've had those who utterly ruined their lives.

So delicate aren't we humans?

It took me a moment there to realize that I was suddenly involved in an dialogue. My friend, Michelle and I were invited by our lecturer/friend to be volunteers in the 7th Melakan International Youth Dialogue (MIYD) held in Melakan International Trade Centre (MITC) Ancasa Hotel from the 25th to the 27th of June 2007 by World Assembly of Youth (WAY). The topic at hand was Youth Tourism; and I had no idea about the whole concept of this event and the background of the organization holding this event. Delegates from various countries were involved were namely from; Hong Kong, Korea, Indonesia, Thailand, South Africa, Yemen, Libya, Bosnia and Hezergovina, Gambia, Namibia, Kenya etc.


As they say, the rest is history and I would very much conclude that it wasn't a wasted effort spending and slogging 3 days in a sub par "international" hotel. Mind you, MITC is supposed to be an international hub for Melaka, located in the "Cyberjaya of Melaka". Okay, perhaps this isn't a very good start to this entry, seeing me give cynical comments on the hotel; but indeed it was rather shabby and did not potray a good image for such an international event. The organization was a bit, as I would say, disorientated; but everything took a rather cool and calm, friendly approach to people.

Skipping the sequence of events, there are a few things that I actually managed to realize during these 3 days. I would like to firstly state how grateful I am that I have Malaysian tastebuds. Throughout this event, I got to know African people and observed that during lunches and dinner, they could not eat much because their tastebuds were not accustomed to many types of different food. They did serve foreign food and we Malaysians merrily had our very own share. Asking them, they told me that the food was too salty, too spicy, too sour, too sweet. You may have never realized this, but we have the upperhand when going for international events. We just take whatever food thats comes by to us (not the Fear Factor kind though) and we don't have much of a problem adapting to eating different things.

Another one thing I realized was the importance of Sejarah or History, that we studied for many many years in high school. Gosh, you have no idea how all that studies came in handy during the 3 days there. Questions ranging from, "Why is Malaysian so diverse?" or "How did Malaysia come about?" or "What is the significance of the Red Square in the middle of Melaka?" to "Why was A Famosa built?" And it didn't stop there, at every question, there were little branches. It was a constant pop quiz. I was hyper, so I knew more people and more people knew me, I put myself in the spot vulnerable to questions, but I was okay. I loved it. I loved showing the uniqueness of my country, I loved telling them about the historical sites and our nature reserves. There was so much to say and too little time.

The event's objective itself was to come out with a declaration for the role of Youth in the field of tourism. I was volunteer as well as participant at the same time. During the discussions, I really loved the fact that there foreign delegates were people representing their countries. Not any random people who you pick from high schools or youth organizations, but leaders, and members who had eloquence and stood out. Every foreign delegate had pride in their country. They spoke with confidence and assertiveness and that brought me to question whether I would be a person worthy of representing my country in more international events.

I think it was great, the whole experience I mean. Being able to step forward as a Malaysian and tell people what Malaysia is all about and our culture and history. When in the moment, the urge to say, "my country is beautiful and unique" will just definitely come by. Also, you feel very proud when you clad yourself in traditional attire. I know I felt very Malaysian on the last night's dinner. The whole event wasn't "very much" international, but enough to give me a taste of how things can be in such an event, and I like it.

I feel like taking this one step further. I don't just want to volunteer in these events, I want to represent my country in international events. The pressure is high on you when in the moment because your country's reputation falls on your shoulders, your English, your manners, your dressing, your ethics are all under scrutiny, but in the end friendship is built, knowledge on various countries increase and finally it is all worth it.


Here are some pictures :



Mini Malaysia, Ayer Keroh, Melaka



A hand at dancing



From Bosnia, discussion about Cultural Tourism.



Ms. Memory from Zimbabwe.



At the Chief Minister of Melaka's house.



South Africa and Gambia representative.



Batik Designing.



From Hong Kong, Yemen, Korea and Malaysia.



They got too hyper.



:)

It’s so difficult to be yourself sometimes. We hear this very famous myth of individuality. The ones who know its importance and strive to achieve it find it so difficult to reach the level of having our thoughts not swayed by people around us. However, parallel to individuality comes fitting in.

I’ve always strived to be independent in making decisions involving my own life. Time and again I try my very best to give reasoning in my very own perspective of things; but, caught up in the middle of all that confusion, I always find myself being affected by people and their opinions and wants. In being individualistic, at the same time, I take importance in trying to listen to other's perspectives to make them happy. In the end, I do not know if I’m happy because I truly am or I am trying to make people happy. Is making people happy, making oneself happy?

You might have gotten yourself confused in the past sentence but I do not blame you for the confusion in your mind. It is as confusing as it sounds.

Just a few days back, I was questioned regarding decisions I made in life. I do not know the person’s perspective of questioning me in such a manner; but to me, every single action I did was questioned and I felt like I had to doubt my very own decisions to place them in comparison to the expectations of others. Friends exist to advise, no doubt. However, I think that there reaches a point that we should not impose our opinions unto others, no matter how strong our stance is; especially the matter does not involve health or money related issues like taking drugs or borrowing money from loan sharks. (That kind of imposing is understandable.)

Sometimes, people around us think that we can do better. They tell us, “This will look good for you,” or, “that looks superb on you.” Sometimes you very reluctantly say, “Yes” because you care about the opinions of others more than yours… I know at this very point, people think that I am weak in my opinion and that I am unable to assert my perspective of things. I do not think so. Fact is, I do so in so many things.

Humans cling to others, so attached and unable to accept reclusion. We want to be part of something so bad that we are willing to bend some personal rules and personal opinions though they hurt so badly. I know it is inevitable, you know so too though on the outer you may stand up for individuality and asserting personal opinions. Now what I have in question: Where is the cut of point? How will you put your foot down after so long of playing along?

Now, comes the part you say, “Stay true to yourself from the beginning.”

Then here comes the part whereby I say, “Problems evolve, they don’t just happen.”

I’m sure that everyone is questioning about the dilemma I am in. It is not a dilemma per se. I am merely disgruntled in certain aspects of thoughts and decisions and opinions of people around me. I have my limits though my threshold is very high. I am hard headed, but sometimes people should watch their words. I am very open minded, but sometimes people just don’t talk about certain stuff; and when they don’t, don’t push it. Again, I am open minded about fitting in; but sometimes I want to be me.

This might not be the best article to kick-start my writings here; but listening to perspectives on things is something I like to do. Solutions may be hung on a string just before our eyes, but the human eye is blinded by so much ignorance, oblivion and plain stress.

Lastly, here's an old poem of mine. To tell you the truth, it was written for my ex-boyfriend. I think you'll be able to figure it out. But this article has nothing to do with him lar. The poem just fits.

His parody

A parody,
One about life,
She took it, and pasted it,
to humour and laugh.
When it ended,
The audience cheered.
If they only knew the tears,
to all that was told.

The stage bright and lively,
shone in pride and glory,
to what seemed a story,
about a man who never knew,
the word happy.

Never did anyone know,
or think,
how it'd feel being him,
something that real.

- eries 21.07.05-

I've been a blogger since 2004, though I admit to having a rather shallow beginning to this "career". I am not very much of an opinion-based blogger as you can see if you have ventured into my blog. However, occasional spur of thoughts do occur in my life. When that does happen, I'd like people to know what I'm thinking, meaning, feedback is very most encouraged.

Not trying to stereotype people in the blogging community, however, I do believe that bloggers should be open minded. When letting out our thoughts through the web, we allow people from all walks of life to view our words. Its a wonderful way of getting different perspectives of things and personally, thats why I love the internet and blogging.

Getting more upclose and personal with me, I am now 20 years old (sadly no longer a teenager) and a Law major in Multimedia University, Melaka. Yes, many people do not know of the existance of this course in MMU Melaka but I assure you it does exist and is not all that bad. Personality-wise; I can be very direct and honest with you. I can be sensitive, but at the same time I can be like a rock; paradoxal I'd say. But most of all, I can be crazy!

I love art, craft, designing, music, poetry, gaming, cooking and well, etc. It's funny that I'm taking Law, I know, but sometimes a girl's got to do what she's got to do :) Well, I don't want to bore you with the details (very cliche excuse), but well, ask me personally for further information, or just pop by my blog.