It’s so difficult to be yourself sometimes. We hear this very famous myth of individuality. The ones who know its importance and strive to achieve it find it so difficult to reach the level of having our thoughts not swayed by people around us. However, parallel to individuality comes fitting in.
I’ve always strived to be independent in making decisions involving my own life. Time and again I try my very best to give reasoning in my very own perspective of things; but, caught up in the middle of all that confusion, I always find myself being affected by people and their opinions and wants. In being individualistic, at the same time, I take importance in trying to listen to other's perspectives to make them happy. In the end, I do not know if I’m happy because I truly am or I am trying to make people happy. Is making people happy, making oneself happy?
You might have gotten yourself confused in the past sentence but I do not blame you for the confusion in your mind. It is as confusing as it sounds.
Just a few days back, I was questioned regarding decisions I made in life. I do not know the person’s perspective of questioning me in such a manner; but to me, every single action I did was questioned and I felt like I had to doubt my very own decisions to place them in comparison to the expectations of others. Friends exist to advise, no doubt. However, I think that there reaches a point that we should not impose our opinions unto others, no matter how strong our stance is; especially the matter does not involve health or money related issues like taking drugs or borrowing money from loan sharks. (That kind of imposing is understandable.)
Sometimes, people around us think that we can do better. They tell us, “This will look good for you,” or, “that looks superb on you.” Sometimes you very reluctantly say, “Yes” because you care about the opinions of others more than yours… I know at this very point, people think that I am weak in my opinion and that I am unable to assert my perspective of things. I do not think so. Fact is, I do so in so many things.
Humans cling to others, so attached and unable to accept reclusion. We want to be part of something so bad that we are willing to bend some personal rules and personal opinions though they hurt so badly. I know it is inevitable, you know so too though on the outer you may stand up for individuality and asserting personal opinions. Now what I have in question: Where is the cut of point? How will you put your foot down after so long of playing along?
Now, comes the part you say, “Stay true to yourself from the beginning.”
Then here comes the part whereby I say, “Problems evolve, they don’t just happen.”
I’m sure that everyone is questioning about the dilemma I am in. It is not a dilemma per se. I am merely disgruntled in certain aspects of thoughts and decisions and opinions of people around me. I have my limits though my threshold is very high. I am hard headed, but sometimes people should watch their words. I am very open minded, but sometimes people just don’t talk about certain stuff; and when they don’t, don’t push it. Again, I am open minded about fitting in; but sometimes I want to be me.
This might not be the best article to kick-start my writings here; but listening to perspectives on things is something I like to do. Solutions may be hung on a string just before our eyes, but the human eye is blinded by so much ignorance, oblivion and plain stress.
Lastly, here's an old poem of mine. To tell you the truth, it was written for my ex-boyfriend. I think you'll be able to figure it out. But this article has nothing to do with him lar. The poem just fits.
His parody
A parody,
One about life,
She took it, and pasted it,
to humour and laugh.
When it ended,
The audience cheered.
If they only knew the tears,
to all that was told.
The stage bright and lively,
shone in pride and glory,
to what seemed a story,
about a man who never knew,
the word happy.
Never did anyone know,
or think,
how it'd feel being him,
something that real.
- eries 21.07.05-
I’ve always strived to be independent in making decisions involving my own life. Time and again I try my very best to give reasoning in my very own perspective of things; but, caught up in the middle of all that confusion, I always find myself being affected by people and their opinions and wants. In being individualistic, at the same time, I take importance in trying to listen to other's perspectives to make them happy. In the end, I do not know if I’m happy because I truly am or I am trying to make people happy. Is making people happy, making oneself happy?
You might have gotten yourself confused in the past sentence but I do not blame you for the confusion in your mind. It is as confusing as it sounds.
Just a few days back, I was questioned regarding decisions I made in life. I do not know the person’s perspective of questioning me in such a manner; but to me, every single action I did was questioned and I felt like I had to doubt my very own decisions to place them in comparison to the expectations of others. Friends exist to advise, no doubt. However, I think that there reaches a point that we should not impose our opinions unto others, no matter how strong our stance is; especially the matter does not involve health or money related issues like taking drugs or borrowing money from loan sharks. (That kind of imposing is understandable.)
Sometimes, people around us think that we can do better. They tell us, “This will look good for you,” or, “that looks superb on you.” Sometimes you very reluctantly say, “Yes” because you care about the opinions of others more than yours… I know at this very point, people think that I am weak in my opinion and that I am unable to assert my perspective of things. I do not think so. Fact is, I do so in so many things.
Humans cling to others, so attached and unable to accept reclusion. We want to be part of something so bad that we are willing to bend some personal rules and personal opinions though they hurt so badly. I know it is inevitable, you know so too though on the outer you may stand up for individuality and asserting personal opinions. Now what I have in question: Where is the cut of point? How will you put your foot down after so long of playing along?
Now, comes the part you say, “Stay true to yourself from the beginning.”
Then here comes the part whereby I say, “Problems evolve, they don’t just happen.”
I’m sure that everyone is questioning about the dilemma I am in. It is not a dilemma per se. I am merely disgruntled in certain aspects of thoughts and decisions and opinions of people around me. I have my limits though my threshold is very high. I am hard headed, but sometimes people should watch their words. I am very open minded, but sometimes people just don’t talk about certain stuff; and when they don’t, don’t push it. Again, I am open minded about fitting in; but sometimes I want to be me.
This might not be the best article to kick-start my writings here; but listening to perspectives on things is something I like to do. Solutions may be hung on a string just before our eyes, but the human eye is blinded by so much ignorance, oblivion and plain stress.
Lastly, here's an old poem of mine. To tell you the truth, it was written for my ex-boyfriend. I think you'll be able to figure it out. But this article has nothing to do with him lar. The poem just fits.
His parody
A parody,
One about life,
She took it, and pasted it,
to humour and laugh.
When it ended,
The audience cheered.
If they only knew the tears,
to all that was told.
The stage bright and lively,
shone in pride and glory,
to what seemed a story,
about a man who never knew,
the word happy.
Never did anyone know,
or think,
how it'd feel being him,
something that real.
- eries 21.07.05-
4 mad rant(s):
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Oh well, not everyone strives to be different. Some might choose to fit in, and be conventional. Individuality is a very interesting topic to debate, and discuss. We should question our individuality, and see how much had we stayed true to ourselves once in a while. Haha.
Too bad, as a useless cripple I'll always be different even if I try to blend in. It's funny how different things would have been if I was normal. That's what you call a blessing in a curse. Individuality is something inherent to me.
~multum in parvo~
useless-ness and useful-ness is very subjective. i dont think someone who can read and write to be utterly useless. the choice of word should be different. many people who are supporting you won't feel happy when looking at you call yourself that :) i dont think those who write in this blog would like it either.
this is no longer the olden era. we have technology which allows us to do so many things through a fingertip. i no doubt do not know what it feels like to be you and maybe saying it makes it seem easy. but then there are still people there for you :) and thats a blessing.
I sort of understand what situation you are in. I always try to blend with others. I always try to go with the flow but I ignore my own principles. For example if all my friends like to go out somewhere, I would feel left out of I don't go. (although honestly I got things to do & I shouldn't go) (T__T)
Now i'm trying to learn to prioritize. I don't want to always join the band wagon. I want to be myslef once in a while...even if it means I might be left out or people might dislike my decision....