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- Albert


I Need A Girlfriend.

I Need A Girlfriend

Yes. This is an advertisement.

Anyways, as some of you may know, I just got back from NS last week. Sorry, was unable to post anything, cause I just recently moved to Puchong and did not have an Internet connection until yesterday. Will post them soon.

But ya, back to the topic. I need a girlfriend.

So if any girls out there, preferably of Chinese descent, not particularly religious, more than 15 years yet less than 19, intellectual yet not bookworm-ish, less than 170cm in height, can tolerate curses, sexual discussions, and debate on both logical and nonsensical topics, not particularly flirty, and is bored or need someone to disturb you non-stop with SMS and phone calls for the next 2-3 months, and e-mail you for not apparent reason but just to say i lub u everyday after that, and believes that beauty is more than skin deep, give me a nudge.

No Jaspreet, you fit none of the criteria above, so keep your hands in your pants XD.

39 mad rant(s):



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  1. jasmine said...

    hahahhahaha... OMG. what a way to advertise! and what do u mean for the next 2-3 months? is this like a temporary thing?hahaha.

    i love this post!  

  2. shine said...

    oh wait, mistake, lemme rephrase that.
    nah, cause i am leaving for america in august, so i can't exactly call and sms there, right?  

  3. Comrade Cripple said...

    Another shot at Jaspreet eh.

    Go to America and bring back your future American girlfriend, ok.  

  4. thwen said...

    Ooooh, looks like I can't audition. I failed the height requirement of LESS than 170 cm, hahahahahah! Are you 5 ft 7, Shine? Cos' I was that height when I was 16, haha... But I've only grown 5 cm taller since then (less than 2 years ago).=)  

  5. Shine said...

    I have no idea whats my height, but its more than 175cm, and less than 185, i think...  

  6. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    Turd!

    -_-  

  7. Henry Yew said...

    I'm not auditioning, but are you that desperate for a girlfriend, friend??

    Ooh... so you're quite tall eh? I'm 183 cm. But does height really matter in choosing a girlfriend?

    Hmmm... maybe it does, to you. *scratches head*  

  8. shine said...

    auditioning is not the right term here, as i am not exactly choosing anyone.

    no, i am short, only slightly, itsy bitsy taller than jaspreet.

    yes i am desperate

    yes it matters. or at least, even if i dont mind, i rarely see a girl with boyfriends shorter than them. so it works both ways, right?

    anyways, no, i am not exactly serious, apart from the desperate part  

  9. Henry Yew said...

    You call 175 cm short?!?! *rolls eyes*

    You wanna be Yew Ming (or is it Yau Ming?), the tallest basketball player in the world, is it?

    Or you wanna be 2.00 m tall?  

  10. Comrade Cripple said...

    Maybe an imaginary girlfriend will work for you Shine......  

  11. Kar Men said...

    huh? desperate but not serious??? damn funny wei. i might have someone in mind that you might like  

  12. Shine said...

    ... which ethnic group in the Andaman islands are you referring to, henry?
    175 is just average lar boss...but relative to most guys my age, i am short...
    180 plus is tall, i guess...

    unfortunately, my imagination is not good enough to create a figure which can give rational response to whatever i do, albert

    kar men, i am desperate, but this advertisement is just a joke... i thought that was kinda obvious -.-... and who might you have in mind?
    once again, the question is not who i might like, but who might like me XD

    thnx for all the responses though, i appreciate them  

  13. Lily Thai said...

    Hey Henry , before you laugh at shine 's post on his mistake of putting the wrong height there , take a look and your own mistake where you spelled Yao Ming wrongly yet no one whine about it . So L2Spell in the future okay ? No one needs to teach a 6 year old on spelling again . Btw did anyone tell you that you have the rather complicated syndrome called IFP ?  

  14. Henry Yew said...

    Shine ah Shine.... (eh your name is pronounced "shin" or "shain"?)

    I'm referring to the ethnic group that you belong to. There are so many people around 175 cm. You are 18 years old. If you're around that height, and you call yourself of average height, still ok lah... can accept. But short...

    I think it's really up to you to decide. Heh.... =p

    P/S: Shine's posts always get lots of comments eh? Kwatra! Your story too long lar... Still can't finish reading.  

  15. Shine said...

    ... who the f**k are you lily thai???
    your spelling aint so good either XD

    and henry, personal opinion, for a chinese guy, i think i am average, but like i said,RELATIVE to most of the people my age, i am short =D

    yeap, thnx for the comments  

  16. Shine said...

    btw, its pronounced Shine as in sunshine. No, dont call me sunshine, its getting tiring being called that since kindergarten.,,  

  17. Henry Yew said...

    [Lily Thai]: I believe you get me wrong. I'm not laughing at Shine's error and I certainly don't do that. As for my spelling error, I did stand myself up that I'm not sure of the spelling, didn't I? And I didn't mention anything about Shine putting a wrong height, did I? I believe you got me wrong there.

    "So L2Spell in the future okay ? No one needs to teach a 6 year old on spelling again . Btw did anyone tell you that you have the rather complicated syndrome called IFP ?"

    Really, Lily. I've been in this blogosphere for five years. I'm not here to indulge in flame wars and I'm not interested in one. Also, I don't stoop to that level of flaming. Whatever IFP means, I certainly am not interested to know either. Just in case you do not know how extremely rare I make mistakes in spelling, kindly browse through my posts here or my personal blog.

    Lily Thai, you misinterpreted my comments, which I readily forgive. But you used the wrong method to criticise me, which I cannot accept. Is it me, or are you just here to spark trouble between us contributors, hereby named RANDTSters?

    Be extremely cautious with your choice of words, Lily Thai. You can be held responsible for them. Also, be careful on who you have chosen to pick on. We do have experts here. Do not look down on our records and security of this blog. Every visit to this blog is recorded and traceable.

    This is not a threat, Lily Thai. It is a reminder to all fellow readers as well as fellow bloggers to be mindful of what they say, lest they mar their fortune. Remember, abide by the Netiquette.

    Maverick and Comrade, I sense disrespect towards me here. We can do something to irrelevant comments like this one I've written and offensive ones like Lily Thai's, can't we? Really, you do not expect me to put up with this absurdity, do you?

    Oh, and Lily Thai, yes, I do allude you to an entanglement. I sympathise you for not having the ability to raise criticisms in a more polite and discreet manner. Perhaps I could arrange for a type of meeting for a session of exchange of ideas for the both of us?

    God bless you. Amen.  

  18. Lily Thai said...

    KK,no 1 cares ? grats on your time for posting a long one here =D Anyways take care, luv ya <3, thx for lettin me post glhf muax  

  19. Henry Yew said...

    [Lily Thai]: Oh, do come back in twelve to twenty-four hours' time. Not that nobody cares, but we'd like to see who gets humiliated. He who laughs last, laughs the loudest. Do I get the last laugh?

    And oh, I see you're interested in what can be found in red-light districts, huh? How do I know? It shows. You should know. By the way, we aren't so desperate so we aren't interested. We know too much already. And that "luv ya" and "muax"; man, those are so yesterday! Try something fresh.

    Thank you for congratulating me on my time for posting long comments here. I know I am talented in writing and I know that I am indeed a prolific writer. I'm glad you pointed that out. Proves that I'm good. Much appreciated.  

  20. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    Whoa! People-people... Chillax my couzs... Love all...

    Henry; Overreaction much?

    Lily; Henry has a point, but chill...

    Why can't we all just get along eh?

    Oh n Shine... Mention my name in the context of a sexist or racial slur again and i promise you i shall remove it from your flesh, like an ox unfit for breeding . . .

    Hey! Love all, my friends! ;)  

  21. Shine said...

    ... why is there a flame war on my post? anyways, back to the topic, so who here fits the criteria above? gimme an email or comment here and i will get back to you asap.

    sorry jaspreet, always can't resist =p  

  22. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    LOL! XD!

    So can i still apply? ;P!  

  23. kuffar lime said...

    Even though I only comment on political stuff here on RANDTS, this post cannot be left alone by me.

    Shine you definitely post pretty popular posts. This posts has gained the most comments in the short 5 month history of RANDTS. Ignore the fact that there's "flame war" because it's hilarious.

    Keep up your superb posts!  

  24. Shine said...

    hahaha, no jaspreet. i don't like girls with balls underneath them.

    ok, will do kuffar =D  

  25. thwen said...

    Ah well, I did spot a few couples (the guys are shorter) in Bukit Bintang last Saturday.

    180 cm plus IS tall. Very handy for cleaning or taking something from high places as the stool is not needed. But not so handy when you injure yourself from low archways, doorways....

    175 cm for an Asian is considered tall, and Asians these days aren't as short as they used to. But 170-175cm for a Malaysian guy is the average height (in my opinion). =)

    And the flame war is funny, because Henry made his points very specific, haha!  

  26. Shine said...

    ... still no response to the advertisement... haih...

    anyways, enough about the height, k?
    its not that important of an issue XD  

  27. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    WOI! SHINE YOU BLIND FUCK! WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK thwen IS SO INTERESTED IN NOTING THAT TALL GIRLS + SHORT GUYS WORK!

    TAKE A HINT MO-FO AND GO FOR IT!

    Hhahahahahahahahahahahahaha............  

  28. Nadia said...

    Hey, stumbled across this site to see two kids that i know here.

    LOL, advert, nice one shine.

    Should put it in a newspaper ad maybe? I'm just kidding.

    Dude Jas, CHILLAX LA T_T  

  29. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    LOL! Yo! Nadia! Waddup couz?

    Haha! Dun worry i'm chilled... Cool as ice... ;)  

  30. joe said...

    whoa... 1 hell of a post.. btw, chill henry... u dun have 2 take it 2 seriously.. roflmao  

  31. Comrade Cripple said...

    Put the ad in the papers. You might see a flood of letters bringing criticism and jokes. Maybe thousands of letters to the editors. Some may get into the editorials. Soon they'll be a national storm. Think about it.

    ROFL

    ~multum in parvo~  

  32. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    yea... i can see it now....

    pg16....
    SunShine Dawns on the Realm of the Lounge Lizard.

    Muahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha..........  

  33. Henry Yew said...

    [joe]: Did I really sound like I was so challenged, frustrated and angry? Well... I was! But after writing all those crap, my fire just went down immediately.

    Don't worry. I got the last laugh. Haha...

    Also, I got affirmed very much thoroughly.

    [Kwatra]: You call everything that I said overreacting? If I'd wanted to overreact, wouldn't I be writing a new post to reply to Lily Thai who COULD be having what he calls IFP, whatever that still is....  

  34. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    Don't worry bout it now laa.... over ady what... You so totally owned her man! (assuming lily thai is a girl)

    And i think IFP means Intelligent Friendly Person ... ;P
    At least it is in my book! ;)

    *GO HENRY - GO HENRY*
    *GOOOOOO HENRY! YAY!*

    ;p;p;p;p;p;p;p  

  35. thwen said...

    Jaspreet, Jaspreet... I didn't intend to indicate that it WILL/MIGHT work for ME. I indicated that it MIGHT work for SOME people, and NOT for EVERYONE. =)

    I didn't say yes or no. Thank you.  

  36. joe said...

    [henry]: obviously her outburst was kinda harsh la.. but then no need la so damn emo... lol  

  37. joe said...

    but d funny thing was d fact tt u were repeating the name "lily thai" so often... LOLz. tt was classic  

  38. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    lily mensus pines...

    The lily among the thorns... ;)  

  39. Henry Yew said...

    [joe]: Repeating Lily Thai's name so often was classic? What did you really mean? I'm afraid I don't get you on that.  


 

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