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Friends

Hi everyone! I haven't posted anything for so long. Really sorry for not contributing anything to the blog. I just thought about something & decided to post it. I assure it it won't be the last post. (^__^)

Old friends. New friends. I'm sure everyone has it. Ever since we were young until now, we have gained so many friends. Some might be your friend at school, some might be your neighbour & some might even be a person you just happen to meet. We learn a lot from friends. We learn how to share our stuff with them, share secrets & even share a common hobby or a liking. I remembered we used to say that our friendship last forever. We will be friends to the very end. But how can you make sure that really happens?

Maybe it's just me but I notice as time goes by....the friends we use to know will slowly be forgotten & we will make new friends. Old friends being replaced with new ones? That sounds kind of rude, don't you think? Sounds like a friend is alight bulb waiting to be replaced. Although it sounds kind of bad but it's true. Not many friendships can last a long time. So far the longest friendship that I have is with a friend who was with me since I was in primary school until now. But along the way, I lost contact with some friends. The bond we use to share is no longer there & they slowly drift away.

It like we don't know our friends anymore. Friends that I use to talk now seem to be strangers. All I get from chatting is simple,

Brian : hi
Friend: yo
Brian : how's life?
Friend : fine. U?
Brian : i'm ok. how the weather? over here it's raining.
Friend: the weathers fine over here.
Brian : k. what r ya doing?
Friend : sry. gtg. busy
Brian : ic. k. bb
Friend: bb

That's basically it. When I do have the time, it's like I got nothing to talk about with my friends. It feels kind of awkward. Do you guys get that kind of feeling? I don't want to lose the contact with all the friends that I've made but what should I do? I'm confused.... (>.<)''''

8 mad rant(s):



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  1. thwen said...

    Well, I don't have many friends, but I do have alot of aquaintances. Haha, the term 'friend' is quite loosely interpreted. I see a 'friend' as someone whom I can at least put some trust on. Otherwise, it's not a friendship but a lie.  

  2. gungrave1988 said...

    Yeah, I might have loosely interpreted the term 'friend'. But what I want to know is do you keep in touch with all your friends?  

  3. Shine said...

    Hey Brian, first time reading your post.

    Finally! A post I can relate to, and a post that does not contain photos which sadly my zero sense of art cannot appreciate,
    a post that contains more than facts/recent news, and a post that isn't a random fan fiction, and a post that is more than blind humour and relationship seeking!

    Anyways, yea, I truly agree that that does happen to everyone, the coming and going of friends. Acquaintances, if you want to put it in a different light, but even trusted friends do drift away sometimes.

    What I think is, its inevitable, as we learn and grow with them, we may realize that not only do we share interests/similarities, we share differences as well, and the realization of differences is what pulls us apart.

    That, and of course, the few random arguments, silly disagreements, or sudden changes in principles.

    But heck, losing friends, and gaining new ones, is better than having no friends at all right?

    Some say that the quality of friendship ages like wine...
    But I say thats bullshit. Friendship is like wine, yes. But some may take some time to finish as we appreciate it, and some will finish 30 minutes after we open the bottle.Point is, whats important is not to grief over the empty bottle, and just go out and buy a new one and drink more, as long as you have a bottle at home, thats all that matters...

    Ok, that sounds confusing. Ignore me, I am half drunk now.  

  4. gungrave1988 said...

    I see. That's an interesting way to defy the term "friend". Friends are like a bottle of wine. Some are priceless that you won't even open it unless it's for a special occasion. That's a really interesting way to put it. (^__^)  

  5. Henry Yew said...

    [Brian]: Hey, my roommate! This is the time for you to know that you are not alone in this kind of situation you know?

    In the past, I had many friends back in primary school who were my closest buddies, too. We went to watch movies together. We went swimming together. We would hang out and have tea at a "kopitiam" together as well. But now, I am starting to lose touch with them. One whom I treasure most back in school used to be very close with me and vice versa. Now that he has got a girlfriend, he's totally pushed me aside. "WHO CARES ABOUT HENRY, WHEN I'VE GOT THIS GIRL?"

    Hey, this is fact and it is happening everywhere, you know? It is so common! When a guy, whom you are close to, is involved with a girl (or vice versa), do not be surprised when their environment is just surrounded by the person they like or love. Your position in their mind is so obscured that eventually they just wipe you out of memory. They may not admit it, but that is how the world is. Refute me if you must, then I shall give you ten of such cases to you, maybe more. Be forewarned, I don't want to humiliate anybody, so don't make me do that, yeah? *Winks*

    It's true that friends come and go. We can't hold on to them because they're just temporary in our lives, like how everything else is just temporary. Nothing remains permanent with you. We come into this world with nothing and with nothing will we part this world, too.

    Our lives are not only full of "what if" but also "if only". Yeah, if only our friends remain true to us! If only our friends would constantly remember us! To be frank, I highly doubt if anyone would remember about all their friends. Some would not even remember about their once closest friends, let alone just friends!

    This is the constant learning process that we have to go through constantly, Brian. No offence but in the future we might forget about one another, too, especially if we are disconnected geographically. It is hard to maintain the intimacy of a friendship if you are so far away from friends. If you think that chatting and telephone calls can maintain that intimacy, you're much wrong. The communication media can only help you save the friendship, rather than severing it.

    Nevertheless, Brian, do not be surprised to find that your once closest friends may just desert you one day. For all you know, friends who are the least closest to you are actually your true friends who keep you in their memory all the time. At this stage, it's not how close your friends are to you, it's how true at heart they are. Hypocrites may be your closest friends for all you know, but when they stab you in the back, it's true friends that you count on, but they're not always close to you.

    I know because I've been stabbed many times by my closest friends, and though I thought I could help make amendments for the better, I still keep getting stabbed, each time deeper than before. I refuse to maintain the intimacy with such people and when I do identify true friends, I'll treasure them.

    P/S: If I were to go on writing about friends, I could take two or three hours writing non-stop, and end up breaking down myself. You may not comprehend how much I've experienced when it comes to friends. It gets me emotionally disturbed to think about the type of friends I've seen in my life.  

  6. Arbitary Juggernaut said...

    Been here... Everything that i would say has already been said so there goes that...  

  7. gungrave1988 said...

    [henry] Thanks for the advice!

    [arbitary juggernaut] All said and done,huh?

    But guys, what do you do to keep the friendship? Calling? Chatting? Hanging out? Email? Friendster?  

  8. Henry Yew said...

    [Brian]: To keep the friendship, any of the methods you proposed can do that, but unfortunately just that. If you want to keep or build the intimacy of friendship, as human beings, you can never avoid the need to meet personally with friends.

    There might be people saying that, "Oh, you know, I have only met this person through the Internet and we are quite close as friends now," or "Hey, there's this person I talk to very often and I think we're good friends now!" Fallacies, I tell you!

    First of all, can the communication media reveal how truthful or honest the other party is? Can the communication media reveal the personality of that Internet "friend"? Secondly, have you realised how easy it is to be able to cheat over the phone?

    The reason that people can deceive others through communication media is because we need all those micro-gestures and gestures that we see or hear (and that we can only get by seeing the person face-to-face) to determine the personality or whether the other party is truthful. This is what we call body language.

    Never speak lightly of body language. It will amaze you to know how body language is able to tell you whether a person is a fibber or otherwise, whether a business transaction will be successful or just end up flopping.

    So you see, Brian, if you were to compare the intimacy of the friendship I had with you in the first semester of last year and now, isn't it obvious that things have changed? If we had not been roommates in the first place at all, I doubt if we would know more about each other. Sure, we could chat through the Internet and things like that, but you may never get to know my personality.  


 

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