This is a video by Japanese rock/metal band Dir En Grey. Watch it and you will never have the heart to abort babies. At least I did. The lyrics are written from the perspective of the aborted baby:

"Mazohyst of Decadence"

Child that will be born of adults with no sense of guilt fallen
I who have no name, why am I here I don't even understand, but
I don't know that I only have a few months to live...

I want to love, I want to be born inside this mother's body, staring
since the time I waited for conciousness two months on I sensed something fast
yet I could do nothing that cord of ours will be...

I, incomplete, my body pierced through with hooked pain
mother's screaming voice, ringing in my ears, will not cease white coated adults scooped me up
in eyes overflowing with coldheartedness bloody, without a right hand, I am reflected
just as I was, in black vinyl I am wrapped, engulfed
while my conciousness is gradually fading, I consider quietly
if I, caged, am loved as I am, that is good it cannot be forgiven

it's better that I, unloveable, die as I am
in quiet I shall sleep without giving my first cry
just once, I want to feel a mother's love
maybe this is love thank you
a door that never opens was closing tight
but I am surely your future, and so...
la la la...

my body burned, consumed until my bones become nothing burned, destroyed
goodbye

.....and 'Mazohyst' is a made-up word. I've always felt that abortion should only be allowed if the pregnancy was caused by rape. If it were by casual sex, it's like,"Hello you blardy knew what having sex entails right?" even if it was protected sex. What do you think?

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Yesterday the British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown showed that he deserves no respect at all. The world owes a debt to the United States for its leadership in the fight against international terrorism, Gordon Brown has said. What an obscene statement! The US under the reckless chickenhawk Bush administration has only led the world headlong into an increase in terrorism. Nobody owes a debt to a nation that has imperiled us all.

According to many sources the Iraq war has caused a sevenfold increase in terrorism. Yes, a sevenfold increase! To make matters worse they were no terrorist Iraq in the first place before the war. Using the false pretenses of supposed weapons of mass destruction under the preemptive strike doctrine brought about to destroy terrorist they (America and gang) invaded Iraq. The deposed and executed Saddam Hussien but left utter chaos behind. Civil wars are raging in Iraq. Terrorists now call Iraq the University of Terrorism (they attended terrorism school in Afghanistan). Baghdad is now the murder capital in the world. Even the humanitarian situation is worse than before the war. I call it total mission failure!

One war and America (Bush Administration) has lost its right to lead the world against terrorism (until they redeem themselves). To make matters even more dire the terrorist are back in Afghanistan ready to bounce back. These terrorist are now attacking the NATO forces there. They even control some parts of Afghanistan. You can blame opium or anything else but if America sent only troops to Afghanistan no such nonsense would have occurred.

To hell with Bush for he imperiled us all by emboldening terrorists! The world owes nothing to America but they owe us a blood debt that can never be paid.

P.S: This post is another reason why I hate politicians so much.

~multum in parvo~

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A withered, frail man lay in the bed, his diseased body overwhelmed by the white sheets and blankets. Life-giving oxygen blew into his nose, and the constant beep of the heart monitor dictated his weakening life-force. An IV bag hung over him, dripping pain numbing drugs into his ravaged system. Walking up beside him, I took his fragile hand in mine and squeezed gently.

"Howard," I whispered.

His eyelids fluttered and then opened, a look of recognition flitting through the filmy blue of his eyes.

"Is it time already?" he asked.

"I'm afraid so. . . "

"But I've still so much left to do," he protested. "So much left to see."

"I'm sorry, but it is out of my hands."

The man sighed and nodded in understanding. "I knew the time was coming for you to appear. I just didn't realize it would be this soon. I haven't said my good-byes. Will you give me a few moments? Please?"

I was prepared for this request and with a slight smile, I released his hand and took a few steps back until I stood in the shadows in the corner of the room. I watched as he turned his head and called out to the younger woman sleeping in the chair beside him.

"Marie," his raspy voice called. "Marie!"

The woman jerked awake and sprang out of the chair. "What is it honey? Are you in pain? Should I call the nurse?"

"No. Come. Sit with me . . ."

Unaware of my presence in the room, Marie perched on the side of the bed and took her husband's hand in hers. "What's the matter?"

"I am dying my love."

"Don't say that!" The tears welling up in her eyes were evident by the shaking of her voice.

"Sweetheart, time for denial is long past. The doctor's haven't been able to do anything to help for months now. They've just been making me comfortable as I wait."

"Wait for what?"

". . . You know the answer to that."

"No! I refuse to listen to you talk this way. You can't give up."

"The time for fighting is long past my love. I'm facing what's coming, and you must as well. I want you to listen to me. Please?"

Marie nodded her head, the tears not allowing her to vocalize her response.

"More than anything, I want you to be happy. I know it will take awhile. But I want you to marry again."

Marie vehemently shook her head.

"My love, please. I don't want you spending the rest of your life pining away for me. I want you to be happy. I want you to be loved. I give you my blessing. When the time comes, and you'll know when it's right, I want you to go for it. I love you, and I want you to be happy. I'll always love you. . . you and the kids. Never forget that."

Howard fell silent, his chest heaving with the exertion of his speech. Marie's body shook with sobs as she mulled over his words. When she spoke, her words were broken. "I can't even begin to think of those things right now, but I promise you that I'll always remember your words. I love you so much, I can't imagine life without you. . . I have to be strong for the children, but I'm going to miss you so much. It already hurts deep inside." Marie flung herself down over his chest, her arms cradling his sides.

I walked forward and ran my hand lightly across his forehead. His body trembled and shuddered, his breath rattling as his soul glided from his body.

"There's no need for you to watch this," I said to him as I took his hand and led him from the room as the alarm from his heart monitor began to blare.

"But Marie..."

"She'll be okay. Of course, it will take time. It always does, but she's young still. She has a whole life ahead of her."

"What happens? Do you know?"

"Only a little. I know she honors your wish and eventually remarries."

"Is she happy?"

"Of course... but she never forgets. You're always with her. Every time she looks into the eyes of your children, she sees you, and her heart aches just a little."

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the information. When he opened them again, he only said two words, "I'm ready."

I led him on. . . to the other side.

I am Charon Lifesbane.

Death.

This what I do.

I'm the soul-taker.

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Nothing much happened on Sunday the 15th. Mom and aunts went to first aunt's office in Kuchai Lama to check out the hall which would be used for line dancing classes every Tuesday (I tagged along). In case you don't know, my mom's a line dance instructor, haha. And I, unfortunately, do not dance, as I cannot and will not.


Home-made doughnuts, fresh from the oven. Mmmm... hmmm... Delicious!



Shot this from my mom's moving car with a high shutter speed. It's such a waste that a part of the post box is cropped off and the door is 'tilted'!


Junk


One of the food stalls in Salak Selatan.


Laksa for tea.


As for Monday the 16th, the routine of the day was the same- Law in the morning, lunch (with the guys), and then Moral Studies in the afternoon.


Spotted this fellow while walking down from the KL Sentral monorail station. I got a close-up of him, but it was slightly out-of-focused!


Amirul.


Cute saree tops! This was opposite the place we had our expensive Indian vegetarian lunch.


This caused RM4 to diminish from my purse! RM4!


Friends Amirul and Paul. Even though Amirul's a shy person, he's not camera shy. Paul is, and that's why I like to take his pictures *evil laughter* Still having the 'disease', Paul?


I highly suspect the usage of this 'hotel'. But I like its crumbling walls and peeling paint.


A Yorkshire Terrier, caged, and placed outside a pet shop.


Carcass, or corpse? Which do you prefer? Oh yes, that's a dead cat, by the way...


Environmental decay!


Candid shot of Kimberly. She was talking to her boyfriend when I snapped this.


We intended to have a mini, impromptu photoshoot around Brickfields and KL Sentral, but nah, it failed miserably. This shot was taken via a mirror's reflection, on the way back to college from KL Sentral.


That ends my blog updates for Sunday the 15th and Monday the 16th. I know they're excessively dull with no character, but hey, I have not much time to spare (am exhausted from today's trip to the forest reserve) and I've got to sleep before I drop 'dead' in Economics tomorrow morning. Take care, everyone.


Cheers, Hui Wen


P.S. Hopefully, I'll finish posting blog-updates from previous weeks soon. And damn! I have not completed my part of the Moral Studies assignment!

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courtesy of Anniecounie

if there’s one thing i hate, its discrimination. by race, gender, age, body size, sexual profile, capability etcetc. i hate it sooo much. i find people who discriminate are total losers. especially when they started to get very mean and being such an asshole.

just like this one group which was shamelessly created by a bunch of schoolmates of mine after getting inspired by telling the whole world about their hatred towards a fellow classmate due to his sexual profile. sure he might be outspoken. but you dont have to be mean.

anyway, i went to the group and got apart of it because i want to write about my opinions regarding a topic saying that Sissys are the main AIDS transmitter. and all the sudden, some of them was being nasty with me coz they said im some spy or something (its HILARIOUS!) because im like really close with the guy.

go read.

[ my current music : when we die - bowling for soup ]

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The Sword's song is a sad song,
He pipes it soft and low,

"I would ply a gentler trade,
But War is all i know,
And though my blade be cold and jagged,
And unloved by many,
I would ply this trade of mine,
'Till doom or death take me".

And so the Sword would sing his song,
The song thats soft and low,

"I would ply a gentler trade,
But War i all i know..."

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"Interestingly, I wasn't at home resting on Saturday, as I went out for a photoshoot in KLCC with friends Melissa and Ken Ming. I shall update about that tomorrow, or on Friday."

As mentioned, and as promised, I'm here to blog about Saturday the 14th. Generally, the day started with much hurrying to be punctual (though it wasn't until much later that the photoshoot began), and ended with also much hurrying to get home and then rest my entire body. The weight of the camera caused my hands, arms and shoulders to ache, while the walking and bad posture added toil on my feet. I remembered a clear picture of me waking up around 2 in the afternoon to discover that I slept for an alarming period of 13 hours!

Anyway, I shall not go into much detail as certain opinions are meant not to be disclosed, and the captions therefore, will hopefully compensate for the absence of 'granny-esque' stories that occupy bandwidth while testing your patience.


The view from Pasar Seni LRT station.



As Ade could not make it for the photoshoot, I had my hippo plushie with me!


The tree-climbing attempt.


Apparently, this tree is haunted. A Chinese uncle spotted us taking pictures of it, and claimed that we would be able to see 3 faces after developing the 'film'. What do you have to say about this, eh?


Melissa kindly lent me her 50mm f/1.8 for T+E. Although, the focal length isn't really 50mm after the 1.5x crop factor, but it's sharp, and fast. I should get myself one real soon.... =P


Kids on a field trip. Melissa had her D70 on a tripod a few metres behind me, so some of the kids were probably looking at her... And seriously, when was the last time we had to place hands on shoulders while lining up? Ages!


None other than one of the aspiring photographers, and one of the most photographed building in KL.


This is what you get with 75mm (from where I stood). I had to swap and use the kit lens again at the widest point to get the entire twin towers in the frame.


I shot something similar back in January, but this is an exception. Melissa's in orange, far left, while Ken Ming's in white, far right. That said, I'm the one in the middle...


If I'm not mistaken, this was taken with the 50mm lens. I like the bokeh, and it is certainly something that my point-and-shoot fails to capture!


Ken Ming and his dad's Canon EOS 400D (partly hidden from view).


One of the kids in the wading pool. Oh goodness! It was not easy to set fill-in flash! When I got it too bright, everything looked washed out. When I got it too dark, it's redundant as the eyes of my subjects (sounds like a science experiment, I know) were like dead sockets (ugly shadows). But when I do get it right, I'm happy!


Haha! Fishing in KLCC pool!

After a rather disappointing morning in KLCC park, Ken Ming insisted that we take a cab to Pudu- where we had lunch, and visited YL Camera in Pudu Plaza. Melissa haven't been there yet heard much about it, so we were there but not for long.


Signs I.


Signs II.


My lunch of Gong Po Chicken in Vinz. Taken with bounced flash from the ceiling and 50mm lens.

(Oh and I met my juniors from high school there)


I spotted this huge crate (I think) of liquor bottles in the backlane of a restaurant, and liked the gold labeled bottle the most. It rained during lunch hour, and those droplets of rain made those bottles gleamed. This was focused manually as I found that the auto-focus thing confused itself too easily. More control with manual anyway!


Another shot of Melissa. I don't know whether her skin colour would look weird in other screens, especially those of CRT monitors, as colours were optimised for LCD screens...


Mini radio- no bigger than a teapot.


Old school hair salon.


Mr. Security Guard. This was shot from the hip. The picture is noisy when inspected closely, but never mind...


Desmond of YL Camera. Ish! If only I compose the picture less tightly! And that's Melissa's D70. According to the boss, the D70's shutter count expired, and right after the 'inspection', the camera couldn't record a single picture! Freaky!


Hawker food stall outside of Pudu Plaza.


Paw prints all over a white Kancil parked nearby Cheras Leisure Mall. I was there to get my PUK Code after the handphone incident that made me extremely difficult to contact for a week. I couldn't even contact anyone via phone either!


My ticket.


Neighbour's dog.


Neighbour's kids.


And yes, my brother's white school shoes.


That's about it for today's blog update. I have a photoshoot with Ade tomorrow morning, and I've got to get a good night's sleep from all the late nights in front of my laptop. I shall be back on Saturday night, or Sunday to continue my blog updates of the past.

Cheers, Hui Wen

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Hi everyone! I haven't posted anything for so long. Really sorry for not contributing anything to the blog. I just thought about something & decided to post it. I assure it it won't be the last post. (^__^)

Old friends. New friends. I'm sure everyone has it. Ever since we were young until now, we have gained so many friends. Some might be your friend at school, some might be your neighbour & some might even be a person you just happen to meet. We learn a lot from friends. We learn how to share our stuff with them, share secrets & even share a common hobby or a liking. I remembered we used to say that our friendship last forever. We will be friends to the very end. But how can you make sure that really happens?

Maybe it's just me but I notice as time goes by....the friends we use to know will slowly be forgotten & we will make new friends. Old friends being replaced with new ones? That sounds kind of rude, don't you think? Sounds like a friend is alight bulb waiting to be replaced. Although it sounds kind of bad but it's true. Not many friendships can last a long time. So far the longest friendship that I have is with a friend who was with me since I was in primary school until now. But along the way, I lost contact with some friends. The bond we use to share is no longer there & they slowly drift away.

It like we don't know our friends anymore. Friends that I use to talk now seem to be strangers. All I get from chatting is simple,

Brian : hi
Friend: yo
Brian : how's life?
Friend : fine. U?
Brian : i'm ok. how the weather? over here it's raining.
Friend: the weathers fine over here.
Brian : k. what r ya doing?
Friend : sry. gtg. busy
Brian : ic. k. bb
Friend: bb

That's basically it. When I do have the time, it's like I got nothing to talk about with my friends. It feels kind of awkward. Do you guys get that kind of feeling? I don't want to lose the contact with all the friends that I've made but what should I do? I'm confused.... (>.<)''''

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As I haven't been blogging regularly for the past week, I shall be posting blog updates from the 'past' to keep this journal of mine, well, simply updated. So I shall begin from where I left- the 13th of July, which was also a Friday (Friday the 13th indeed!). It was also the 2nd day of having Jen Ric's 'beaten up D50' with me.


Out of campus: Bawanie

The first half of that Friday was spent in college, where I was trying not to fall asleep in the middle of law, while the second half, was spent in Subang Jaya with college-mates- Cheong, Lahveenya, Bawanie, Lidya, Ann, Paul, Kanchana and Vinnash. We intended to attend the finals of Taylor's Law Debate, which featured Taylor's College vs. MMU, and when I say 'intended', I meant 'was initially supposed to attend, full stop'.

And that ('was initially supposed to attend, full stop') certainly did not include a detour of any sort. What happened was this: we went through not only a tiny detour, but a tiny detour plus a chapter of the Amazing Race (where we had to reach the Taylor's College Subang Jaya campus, and NOT the PJ campus as published in the RAGE)!


In The KTM: Lidya


The wrong stop to the wrong campus.

From left: Kanchana, Lidya, Ann, Lahveenya, and Bawanie.


From left: Kanchana, Lidya, Me, Lahveenya and Bawanie.


A candid shot of Lidya and Ann. They were trying to access GPRS or something.

Anyone who knows me well enough would probably say I was mad at the entire chapter, and yes, I was indisputably mad. However, I did attempt to keep my spirits up, and not make the issue of spilt milk an even bigger issue than it is, by singing classics with Bawanie, and snapping photos. As it was my first time with a DSLR and without a freaking manual, I didn't know how to fully operate the features available, but hey, I have to say on-the-field handling teaches more than reading the manual tenths of time would!


An interesting debate (which, by the way, we missed everything except the 3rd Opposition's speech, reply speeches and award ceremony). And this shot is poorly-executed... *sighs*


Friends from high school that were there too.


Group shot of all of us, taken by the camera's self-timer. The camera was placed on a mountain of bags that acted as a tripod... Front row, from left: Lidya, Ann, Bawanie, Lahveenya and Cheong. Back row, from left: Me, Kanchana, Paul, and Vinnash.

All-in-all, I was immensely exhausted after racing around Subang. The weight of a DSLR and flashgun was obviously staggering compared to my compact point-and-shoot's, but I did had fun experimenting with bounced flash during the finals (though I wished I wasn't that stupid to have set ISO levels at 1600 and having noisy indoor pictures in the end).


Outdated magazines for half (or more) the price. The uncle who was selling them reminded me to pay him if I'm using my shots of his goods for commercial reasons.




Through the grills. Ran a Lomo action on this shot for something called T+E.


Read the signs!

Also, thank goodness for the ride home by Paul. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get up the following morning due to worn out feet and a sore back. Interestingly, I wasn't at home resting on Saturday, as I went out for a photoshoot in KLCC with friends Melissa and Ken Ming. I shall update about that tomorrow, or on Friday.


My youngest brother, dancing to 'Stayin' Alive' by the Bee Gees.

Cheers, Hui Wen

P.S. The team from Taylor's won the debate.

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