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Or if you prefer to call it,

Shine's Horny Observation Of Running Girls

I have been wanting to post this for a while, since Jaspreet dared me, but I did not really want to, until now.

Why? Cause I feel like it.

Anyways, I was supposed to be studying Econs at that time, but as usual, my head wanders.

Why? Cause of this one picture of a girl running in the textbook.
And as usual,

Big tit, white girl + my mind = sex

So yeap, as usual, today’s rant job is primarily on sex.
But sex is a major topic, and I really don’t wanna share opinions regarding different types of sex, or sex in general.

So, to narrow down, I am gonna talk about the picture alone.
So yea, the topic is,

The Analysis Of The Female Running Form

Based on observations during sports practice back in high school, movies, escaping victims of rape, bla bla, I have come to train myself to observe the different ways in which a girl run.

Guys are definitely less worth noting, cause they are divided into three very obvious groups:
a) They run like guys
b) They run like girls
c) They run like Jaspreet (remember the angel hop, people? E-mail me for more info)

Lets start with the way that girls like the one I saw in the picture run. For easy categorization, I shall label this form as

The Flip-Flop

The reason why I call this style The Flip-Flop is because of the motion of their breasts, which I shall illustrate later.

You normally see this when girls go jogging, and much more noticeably, when they have an iPod dangling on their arms.

Regarding the posture of the run, the way to distinguish this way of running from the others which I am gonna talk about is the oscillation of the tits.

Observe the following diagram. Try to imagine the girl actually running.

As depicted by the arrows, we can clearly see that one breast always go in the opposite direction of the other. And as such, its pretty obvious that this motion is balanced, as we have momentum both upwards and downwards due to the chest, and hence, this is a very common, and intuitive way in which girls run when they are jogging, as it maintains a proper posture.

But this method of running is also VERY risky, as the constant opposing motion of breasts may be a cause of dislocation from the bra. Hence, it is highly advisable that while running like this, thy shalt not wear push up bras. Wear, simple tight ones (unless you want to make me happy).

Or just wear those ugly rubbery aerobic shirts.


The Pretzel aka The Infinite Loop

This style of running is most commonly seen in movies where the girl actually run for real. It is also the method of running commonly applied when a girl is running away from a rapist (eg. the scene in that softcore porn movie with Vivian Hsu in it, running away from some asshole who dry humped her) or when they are running away from Jasp... nothing.

Regarding the distinction of it compared to the others, observe the following picture.

First and foremost, notice that the picture seems as if the girl is jogging. But don't you notice how un-natural it is?
That's because she is running using The Pretzel aka The Infinite Loop.

Why do I name them so?
Obviously, from the oscillation of the tits.

Imagine the girl running, again.
Notice that the center of the chest of the girl will move in the motion described by the black arrow.
Effectively, the entire set of jugs (the blue circle) will then move accordingly to suit the motion, which is shaped like a pretzel, OR the infinite symbol, hence the name.

I have considered the probability that the motion may not be like a pretzel, but more of like side to side, like your eyes when you shake your head, but then I realize that THAT is a different category, which I shall describe later.

Now, now, I sense that people may argue with me regarding the similarities between The Flip-Flop and The Pretzel, but to prove my point, notice the positions of the hands in both the pictures above.

Realize that the angle of which the forearm makes with the horizontal plane is different, in which The Flip-Flop is obviously higher than The Pretzel. This IS significant, as the movements of the arms is, in a way, related to the motion of the tits. I know nothing about the muscles in the chest, but there is a reason why their tits AND arms move differently.

Now, onto the next one,

The Manual Transmission

This is a very very unique form of running, as the only instances which I have observed them to happen was in high school, during sports practice when the girls sprint the 100m thingy.

And as such, I apologize that I have no picture of them, unless someone can send me a video of sports practice. But fear not, as I have a replacement picture.

The motion for this one is considerably difficult to describe. But imagine the girl above running, and the center of her tits move in the motion from point 1 to 4, then from 3 to 2, then repeat.

Yeap, you guessed it, like a gear stick in a manual car, hence, The Manual Transmission.

NO! It is NOT oscillating like The Pretzel nor The Flip-Flop!

The motions are quite jagged and not as graceful. It seems as if their tits are gonna jump out of their orbits pretty soon and fly across the field.

Another feature of this form of running is that the hands of the people tends to move parallel to each other, like swatting flies with both hands to the side of the other end (???)

As I said, this is hard to describe, they need to be seen to be appreciated (repeat: appreciated, the female form is an art).

Another not-so obvious feature is that their hair tends to swing like the image as well.
For the previous motions, the hair either moves up and down, or gracefully swing from side to side.

For The Manual Transmission, it looks like a broom. Literally. Like the picture.

This form of running is very common among 'little' girls. No, not that they don't have tits, its more like they are running like kids.

And finally, one of the MOST common in Malaysia, is

The Hormonally Deficit

Yeap. The hormonally deficit. This is pretty easy to describe. Observe the following picture.

For this motion, the girl runs like a guy. Hence, The Hormonally Deficit.

You may be surprised as to why I did not name it based on the motion of the oh-so-godly tits.


They don't have any.
They lack the hormones.
The Hormonally Deficit.

Girls who run like this have their breasts (or whatever that's left in between their arms) moving left and right. Like a guy.

I feel a very bad aftertaste in my mouth describing this right now. Its like explaining how an 8 year old boy runs.

Girls who normally run like this are either motherfucking thin, or girls who are actually in running competitions. Or girls who are hormonally deficit.

There, that's about it. If anyone care to remind me of ones I missed, or if there are any arguments, please do reply. But of course, I expect diagrammatic and constructive proof. Go ahead and burn me, bra-tearing feminists.

The images are copied and pasted from Google images, and modified with Microsoft Paint.

I can't take 8 megapixel pictures and use Photoshop for nuts.

7 mad rant(s):

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  1. Comrade Cripple said...

    What is this!? I really find it difficult to digest, you have way too big an imagination. Anyway, what's with the weird joke about Jaspreet?  

  2. Shine said...

    Erm.. which part is difficult to digest? And I will tell you that privately Albert =P  

  3. Kwatra said...

    who'd want to digest breasts? -.-  

  4. Bri said...


    I had a good laugh at this :D  

  5. Amy said...

    Ummmm, dude and here i thought i was getting to an actual web page on proper running form! As a woman, most of the above should be non-visible in true athletes because those of us in sports wear proper sports bras which are supposed to stop motion... if you are fit properly. Wow you really do have an easily distracted mind!  

  6. buy kamagra said...

    It's a great blog with such useful information. I think we can't ignore this blog because most of the people doesn't practice any exercise. According with your point, the Female Running Form isn't a bad idea specially if you're a fat girl.  

  7. Cheap Pharmacy Online said...

    I want to digest her beautiful breasts!!  


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