As dirty as it may sound, you're not even close to guessing what I'm talking about...

What do we do in cars?

• We read magazines while we wait for someone
• We listen to the radio and perhaps call when there is a cue to call
• We probably SMS our friends
• We probably look out and enjoy the beautiful view
• or, we just sleep (which is what I do most of the time)

But, today, something unexpected for me happened. A man was changing his clothes while driving. I didn't mean to look at it but heck, I was initially appreciating the scenery of the city at night. And right before me was a man who took off his shirt and quickly changed to another white one (while driving!) He obviously didn't wear his safety belt.

Think about how dangerous it is. He could have bang someone's car or hit a pedestrian who hurriedly crosses the road. Oh well, I hope there won't be more of these.

Was he in that much of a hurry to go visit someone that he had to change his clothes in the car?? Hmm, I wonder...

This is Muhammad the teddy bear.

Apparently naming a teddy bear Muhammad will get you arrested in Sudan according to this article.

~multum in parvo~

This picture made me laugh and cry at the same time. Maybe it's just something I can relate to. If you do not understand, there are two probabilities:

a) You don't know me well enough.
b) You are a girl.

As we dropped altitude and closed in on the beachhead, the Spectre groaned as Cowboy banked hard to the left. The call sign suited him well. He always wore an old straw farm hat, and those non-issue chrome plated sunglasses. I could never figure out how he got away with having them. He was always smiling, and he was the best pilot I had ever known.

Tommy the crows nest operator tapped me on the shoulder, and as I turned, I noticed a screen shot of the area we had just past. He shouted to me over the roar of the cannons.

"Do you recognize this geographic?"

"Yea we just flew by it," I called back to him.

"First CAV is about to get a rude awakening down there. We got Cubans flanking from the left, looks to be 30 or 40 men. The CAV's pinned down hard right now, and the Cubans are closing fast. When we make the next pass, paint the mark."

"Got it," I shouted.

"Remember, we are gonna be in close proximity to the big red one, so make sure you don't hose the whole place down."

"Give me a shout when we reach the mark," I said. I was exhausted from strafing the area with the chain gun. The vibration of the ship melded together with the constant side-to-side motion from the 105 mm howitzer, and the cannon fire could wear a man out in no time. Not to mention that god-awful hole at my feet, a result of the last burst of flak. It was making a horrible sucking sound now, as if it wanted to take my very soul.

Tommy motioned me again and said, "Here goes, sport. Be ready."

I blinked to clear my eyes and peered into the sights of the gun. The ground movement looked like a group of tiny ants marching in unison. It seemed as if they were going to make a single mass movement towards the first CAV. I didn't think they had a clue as to what was in store for them.

Tommy shouted "FIRE!" and I squeezed the trigger. Every seventh round was a tracer, but the Vulcan fires so quickly all you can see is a single arch of red light from its barrel. The frantic movement on the beach instantly stopped.

Tommy said, "You got 'em all man! No movement on FLIR!"

I felt a momentary sickness wash over me. Yes, I knew what they had planned to do. I couldn't let them massacre our people on the ground. My only thoughts were I had just done to them what they had wanted to do to us. I had to forget it. Clear my mind for now.

The Spectre shuddered hard from a violent blast of flak, and the aircraft waffled wildly from side to side. The tail rudder had been hit but the damage was minimal, and the ship slowly regained its posture.

The VOX radio channel crackled, and I heard cowboy tell the control aircraft we were heading to a higher altitude to re fuel. We started to climb and the AC130 moaned loudly. I wondered how much more we could take once we returned to the beach.

The Raven was a late 60's model, and I had no Idea how much combat repair she had undergone during Vietnam. I knew the fuel cells were still weeping from the botched repair at Hulbert Field, and I worried she might split her tanks at any moment.

Silence filled the ship as we rose above the 3000-foot mark. The looks of the faces on board were varied at best. The cannon operators were sweeping shells up, laughing, and joking. Tommy surveyed his information and went over charts with his usual conviction. Tipper, the loadmaster seemed nervous as he looked at various hard mounting points and checked the landing gear. I did some light maintenance on the Vulcan as I crossed myself, thankful I was still alive.

VOX crackled again as the KC135 tanker operator urged Cowboy to hold the Raven as still as possible to avoid a collision. It was plain to see this was not as easy as it sounded. The tail section must have been damaged worse I thought. After some harrowing moments, the connector was uncoupled, and we pulled away.

The Raven banked right and started her descent. If anyone had told me that I would be here 3 days ago, I would have laughed aloud, but it was real, and we were in the thick of it all.

Tipper's voice shattered the silence. "Are you alright Ark?"

"Yea buddy," I said. "I'm just trying to rest a moment and re group before we head back into the storm."

"Ok brother" he said. It looks as if this ol' girl has seen better days."

"What do you mean, Tipper?" I said.

"I think the Raven is damaged worse than any of us realize." he said. "We're leaking hydraulic fluid from the main and secondary cylinders, and I noticed a lot of slack in the tail rudder control wires."

"Thing is Tipper, This bird has never let us down unless you count the fuel cell repairs at Hulbert." I said. "I'm sure if we were in any kind of real trouble, Cowboy would find a nice soft place to set her down."

Tipper smiled and shook his head.

"No place to soft land here, kid." He said.

He headed off towards the rear of the Raven, and left me alone with my thoughts. I hoped he wasn't right, but he always was on this sort of thing. There was no way we could set down on the runway at Salinas. The Cubans still had ground control, and it might be hours or even days before anyone could land there. With all the ordinance we had dropped in that area, it might be damaged so bad that it was impossible to land on the island.

We dropped altitude again and Cowboy circled to the right. I checked the Vulcan and loaded a fresh volley of ammo into the breach. Everyone seemed anxious to get back, and I was worried about the lack of ground support since we had left to refuel. With only two spectre's circling the island, the "Crow" was the only one there at the moment. Sure, one spectre could do a lot of damage, but two were guaranteed to keep the wolves at bay.

We dropped the last few hundred feet and started to circle the island again. Immediately the flak burst and anti aircraft fire lit up the sky all over again. The next few hours seemed to race past as we continued to try to keep the enemy off the backs of our troops on the ground. We took several hits, but managed to stayed air born.

Suddenly I heard ground control's radio message to Cowboy.

"Areca to Raven" the controller said. "The runway is clear for you to land."

I waited for the reply from Cowboy, but there was only silence from the cockpit.

"Areca to Raven" The controller called again. "Do you copy? The runway is clear."

Again, the mic was silent. A million things went through my mind at that moment.

Did Cowboy not hear the radio transmission? Could everyone be dead in the cockpit? What was going on?

I unbuckled my harness and tapped Tommy on the shoulder. "I'm going up topside." I said.

Tommy looked around and said, "Hope everyone's alive up there"

I climbed the crew ladder slowly not knowing what I might find. If they were all dead, we were in a world of trouble. We all had a few hours of flight simulation, in the event that we had to limp home without a pilot but I prayed none of us would have to find ourselves in that position.

I looked around the cabin bulkhead, not wanting to see what I might find. As I looked I was thankful to see them all alive. The co pilot and Cowboy were having trouble controlling the plane and the navigator was frantically pouring over his charts trying to find the right approach to set the Raven down.

Cowboy looked back and saw me standing there, scowling.

"Why the sour look, Ark?" he asked in his usual unconcerned way.

"What the hell is going on up here, Cowboy?" I shouted.

"I ain't gonna lie to you," he said. "We are in a world of shit right now. The outside starboard engine is about to give out, and we've got major prop damage on the rest of them."

I could see that they were doing all they could to try and steer the Raven, but it looked like a loosing battle. We had too much damage, and there was no way we could stay in the air much longer.

At that moment, the engine died, and the prop feathered to a halt. As I looked out the starboard window, I could see the engine smoking lightly. Cowboy hit the extinguisher switch and the smoke dissipated into the slipstream. The prop on the engine was bent and chewed up, as if a huge dog had used it like a chew toy.

"You had better get strapped in back there, Ark." Cowboy said. "We are gonna try and set this big bitch down at Salinas."

I made my way back down the crew ladder and Tommy was standing there waiting for me. I didn't want to tell him or the others, but there was no turning back now.

"What's going on up there?" he asked.

"I gotta tell everyone." I said. "Listen to your headset"

"Listen up guys!" I said as I keyed the mic. "Were done up here. We've lost an engine, and we got major prop and control damage. Everyone needs to secure there weapons and strap in. Looks like we are gonna have to brace for impact at Salinas."

Jack, the new kid that operated the 105mm howitzer, said, "Crash? Damn man you got any good news to tell us?"

"Sorry kid" I said, that's all I got for the moment.

"I didn't sign up for this shit!" he whined.

I secured the Vulcan and buckled myself into the jump seat. I could not believe this was happening. Yesterday I was at Hulbert field happy as hell, and now I was going to crash into some god forsaken Caribbean runway and die in a thousand pieces. I thought about all the things I would miss. I could not believe I wouldn't live to see my son being born. All of this was just too much. I knew Cowboy would do everything he could to set the Raven down in one piece, and freaking out now wouldn't do me any good.

I though about what Para Rescue had done for me. It had taken a small town kid with no real direction, and turned him into a good man. I had learned so much about myself in the last few years, and I was proud to have been a part of all this. If I died and never got to see my son, I hoped someone would survive to tell him that I had tried to make a difference in people's lives. Tell him his dad had died doing what he loved. I hoped he would know that I loved him more than anything and that I had given my life freely so that he could live in peace.

We started our descent towards Salinas's airport. The ground control operator told us that the runway was clear, but that wasn't the case. The sky lit up around us as we rolled into position for the landing. I knew they were doing all they could down there to help us get down in one piece.

"Hold on to your asses!" Tipper cried out. "I can't get the rear landing gear all the way down. This shit is gonna hurt!"

The Raven slammed down hard onto the tarmac. The impact jammed me upwards towards the ceiling, but the jump seat straps held fast. I felt as if I was being compressed into a small box. Cowboy threw the turbo props into full reverse, and the sound was deafening. [At that moment, the nose gear gave way, and the Raven pitched downward towards the ground, the nose gear tore into the asphalt and shook the ship violently.]

"This is it." I thought. "Once the sparks from the gear start hitting those leaky wings, we will burst into flames."

Thankfully, this never happened. The Raven had slowed a bit, but not enough to make a complete stop on the runway. We missed the last stop markers, and plowed into the sand breakers at the end of the runway. The Raven continued along, and the jungle was closing fast in the cabin windows. To this day, I don't know how he did it, but Cowboy pulled up just short of the tree line. The AC130 ground to a screaming halt, and he killed the ships power and switched to auxiliary. The Raven would never fly again.

Cowboy called out "Report in! Is everyone alright back there?"

Everyone had survived the crash, maybe a little banged up, but OK. The emergency lights and warning signals made the inside of the Raven look like a Christmas tree. Cowboy killed all the alarms, and we all got ready to exit the plane.

"There's a lot of gunplay going on out there." Tipper said. "Everyone get there flak jackets on and be ready to run for shelter. Get your game plan ready before I lower the rear hatch!"

Small arms fire was hitting the side of the Raven. We all huddled into the tail section.

Bill, the other howitzer operator was an old veteran to this sort of thing. He looked at me and said, "You want to make it out of here alive?"

"Is that a trick question?" I said

Don't be a smart ass boy!" he said. When the hatch opens, I'm gonna flank right with grazing fire, and Tippers gonna flank left. All of you need to stay low and head straight out the back of the plane. Intelligence told us there is a bunker that we control about sixteen to twenty yards right behind us."

Jack said, "Hey old man, I can fend for myself. I'm gonna run to the left and take cover behind those sheds we saw coming in."

You'll never make it there, kid." Bill said. "You'll get shot before you get ten feet."

"I'll take my chances." Jack said.

"Suit yourself!" Bill said.

"Ark you run as fast as you can towards that bunker," Bill said. "If you do what I tell you, then you'll make it there. We can't loose our only medic."

"You don't have to tell me twice!" I Said. "I got you the first time."

Tipper hit the release mechanism on the tail bulkhead, and the door hydraulics started to whine. This is it, I thought.

All the training and hard work had come down to this moment. I had never been so scared, yet so alive in my life. There was no time left to contemplate any of this. It was time to go. I said a silent prayer as light streamed into the cabin. The bi fold doors opened even wider.

"God, please let me make it home alive."

I find this interesting… here are SMS abbreviations that would be such a helpful thing to all you lazy suckers out there. haha..

AFAIK As Far As I Know

AFK Away From Keyboard

ASAP As Soon As Possible

ATK At The Keyboard

ATM At The Moment

A3 Anytime, Anywhere, Anyplace

BAK Back At Keyboard

BBL Be Back Later

BBS Be Back Soon

BFN/B4N Bye For Now

BRB Be Right Back

BRT Be Right There

BTW By The Way

B4N Bye For Now

CU See You

CUL8R See You Later

CYA See You

FAQ Frequently Asked Questions

FC Fingers Crossed

FWIW For What It’s Worth

FYI For Your Information

GAL Get A Life

GG Good Game

GMTA Great Minds Think Alike

GR8 Great!

G9 Genius

IC I See

ICQ I Seek you

ILU I Love You

IMHO In My Honest/Humble Opinion

IMO In My Opinion

IOW In Other Words

IRL In Real Life

KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid

LDR Long Distance Relationship

LMAO Laugh My Ass Off

LOL Laughing Out Loud

LTNS Long Time No See

L8R Later

MTE My Thoughts Exactly

M8 Mate

NRN No Reply Necessary

OIC Oh I See

PITA Pain In The Ass

PRT Party

PRW Parents Are Watching

QPSA? Que Pasa?

ROFL Rolling On The Floor Laughing

ROFLOL Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud

ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off

SK8 Skate

STATS Your sex and age

ASL Age, Sex, Location

THX Thank You

TTFN Ta-Ta For Now!

TTYL Talk To You Later

U You

U2 You Too

U4E Yours For Ever

WB Welcome Back

WTF What The F…

WTG Way To Go!

WUF Where Are You From?

W8 Wait…

7K Sick

click here for source

Yeap. Thats right. Believe it or not. Existence as you know it is THE lowest rung on the metaphysical level of all things good, bad and shine.

Why you ask? Well let me enlighten you.

First we look at Hell's composition. Fire, Brimstone, Demons, Gore, Suffering bla bla bla (insert Sunday school image of choice here)
You get the picture right?

Now try imagining each of those elements...

I guess you could say its a lot like this...







Look familiar? You'd bet your last pair of panties yes!

So... if hell is here then where is good ol' planet Bob?

Well... Let me say this;
People we do not elect rule the through sheer tyranny and the whip that is political correctness.
Of all things that are certain in this world inevitable eventual failure will ALWAYS be one of them.
God appeared to us "ONCE" in mortal form and we crucified him.
And well nobody's perfect. And we WERE created in Gods image. Ipso-facto he ain't perfect either. All powerful sure. Sadistic sure. But perfect? Pshaw!

Perfection is a hoax. How can everyone be perfect? Be PERFECTLY pure and PERFECTLY corrupted all at once? Pure Corruption i say.

God created all things. Perhaps. Which means he created evil too. Sure he gave us that carrot on a stick you people call hope but seriously; the murderer who grows flowers is still a murderer first and foremost. So...

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then is he impotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Whence then is evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

Don't get me wrong. I bet most of you are thinking why the fuck the "Turbanator" bothers with his cultural mane of furry fur when he rants so much about hating the big Kahuna? Well you just answered your own question. Culture and Religion are two different concepts that are two separate, though significantly interwoven, entities. Sorta like politics and lying.

I keep my beard as a sign of respect to my forefathers. It is a symbol of my people. A part of their identity. Not a sign of my devotion to any one deity.

Also i cannot for the life of me understand the concept of faith. What i say i believe and all is forgiven? I say i believe and i am accepted? Why does God ask this of us? Does the father ask the fetus to show faith of existence outside the womb before he may be born?

Or worse. The fanatics. If you are not of our faith you are doomed to hell! And so we convert. Insincerely choosing a faith over gospel truth. Thats okay? What kind of segregation is this?

Didn't god want us all to be together? One big happy incestuous family? Then why the prohibition of inter marriage? More shit from the bull i say!

Conclusion; I hate God. Why? Coz he deserves it. What right do i have you ask me? What right don't i have? He put me in this shithole! I dint ask for any of it. Didn't anyone ask what I wanted? Sorry let me rephrase; Did anyone who gives a shit and actually makes an effort to help ask what i wanted?

P.S. This was a rant. I don't give a quarter pound of turd whether you were offended. So there! Swallow it.

When I read this piece of news I was stunned by the intolerant stance taken by Beijing. Apparently "security reasons" is the cause of this ban. To me this is absolutely unacceptable as it borders on the ridiculous and shows how extreme the officially God forsaken country is. Athletes are also prohibited from bearing any kind of religious symbol at Olympic facilities.


Well if Bibles are banned, are Korans banned too? Well I would think Muslim athletes will surely be denied their sacred book too. As far as I know devout Muslims will not accept such nonsense. This seems like an insult on Islam itself. To take it further are Muslim headscarves banned to? They certainly are a religious symbols and they will be banned unless Chinese are hypocrites.

Furthermore, what will happen to Jews and their skullcaps? How about the Sikhs and their turbans? Well it can go on forever but the whole message Beijing is giving that they are bigoted Mao Tse Tung butt kissers money worshipers. Good job Hu Jintao your men have insulted the whole wide world.

Of course this can only culminate in one thing - the mass boycott of the Beijing Olympics. To me this would surely make my day as I have already decided that the Chinese government has absolutely no ethics and is one hundred percent morally bankrupt. All because of oil and money China ganged up with Russia to support the rape of Darfur. Genocide takes place there because they block all international efforts to stop the Sudanese. Remember the Burmese who died in their struggle for freedom! China and the Asean especially despicable Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore gave the finger to the democracy movement.

May you burn evil China!

~multum in parvo~

From the BBC News website:

Attack on giant Pakistan Buddha

Suspected pro-Taleban militants have tried to blow up an ancient carving of Buddha in north-west Pakistan. The statue, thought to date from the second century BC, sustained only minimal damage in the attack near Manglore in remote Swat district. The area has seen a rise in attacks on "un-Islamic" targets in recent months. This is the first such attack in Pakistan and is reminiscent of the Taleban's 2001 destruction of the giant Buddhas at Bamiyan in Afghanistan.

[ Read article ]